I'm trying something new for my TV reviews – I'm typing them during each commercial break, so you're getting what is, essentially, a stream of conciousness review. Each paragraph is single segment of the show, from commercial break to commercial break. Might be fun! We'll find out.
Not sure how I feel about the first segment. I'm not a big fan of Triple H as the COO – he seems like he's trying to be a face, but good bosses just aren't very interesting. I also don't like the fact that he brought R-Truth and John Morrison to Smackdown. It generally seems to work better when the Raw and Smackdown stories stay separate. There's also the fact that R-Truth's gimmick gets a little tiring when you only see it once a week; showing up again doesn't do him any favors. I will take any chance to see more Christian, though – I think he's incredibly entertaining, even in his current, whiny incarnation.
I really enjoy Zak Ryder – he is fantastically stupid in the most fun way. The first part of the Christian/Morrison match is alright, nothing special either way. Some sloppy spots, but nothing out of the ordinary when you're dealing with a high flier.
Whatever that flipping grab move was, it was fantastic. Besides that and the missed Starship Pain, not the most amazing match. John Morrison sold his neck injury very well, and I was amazed that they let Christian pull of the Killswitch without it being countered at all – I don't think I've ever seen that happen.
I feel like Wade Barrett is trying to become a new Million Dollar Man with all of his talk about greed and making a lot of money. While I like Wade, this isn't the most interesting way for him to go – he feels kind of lost without the Nexus or Corre to boss around. He does have a great accent, though. Daniel Bryan is fun, mostly because he has the best theme music in the WWE. Zak Ryder continues being hilarious – he makes Teddy Long way more interesting.
This bit about Justin Gabriel would probably be way more interesting if he was an interesting wrestler, so... who cares? And man, Josh Matthews clearly can't take Booker T seriously, and I can't blame him for laughing. And then comes a six-Diva tag match. Why are the only Diva matches either have way too many participants OR are Kelly Kelly and one of the Bellas. Honestly, I don't know who all of these Divas are, but the one in pink had some nice throws against the fake redhead. Also, these matches always seem to end the same way – Face tries to get a pin, heels interrupt and all the non-active Divas leave the ring to brawl, and then a pin happens. Usually a face wins, but this time the heel wins. Still, not a terrible match. Not great, not terrible, but ultimately forgettable.
Mark Henry looks kind of gross with all that water dripping off him, and I don't get what sort of effect it's supposed to give. I do like the idea that Zak Ryder is feeding this little scrawny guy to Mark Henry – it's legitimately amusing. Booker T's announcing style remains really bizarre; “Get the A-1 sauce”? Really? Whoever this kid is, Bobby or whatever his name is, he's good at selling pain. Which is good, because that was all he could do in this match. I have to admit that I was hoping he would amaze us by putting up some sort of fight, but nope, nothing. Shaemus's theme really is terrible – it's not distinctive until about 10 seconds in, which means it doesn't do its job properly. I liked his little “Irish” story, and I like how the confrontation ended – Mark Henry threw a temper tantrum!
Next we get a Tag Team Championship match between the Usos and the remaining members of the New Nexus. The Usos are a fantastic tag team – the Maori war chant that they enter with is great, and they work really well together. Unlike Otunga and McGillicutty (I have no clue if I spelled that right!) the Usos actually do the cool combination moves that make tag matches fun to watch. Unfortunately, the New Nexus keeps the championship through some admittedly clever heel stuff. We also get another little segment with Zak Ryder. The fact that Teddy Long said “broski” made it worth it.
Check out the ref's face when Cena uses the Attitude Adjustment on Rey Mysterio during the Raw Rebound – absolutely hilarious. R-Truth's promo is pretty good, with some nice imagery about PEELING RANDY ORTON'S SKIN OFF. I also love his catchphrase: You gonna get got! I don't even know what it means, but it's fun to say!
Next, a handicap match! Not a big fan of Ezekial Jackson, as he isn't an amazing technician – he's basically just huge. Cody Rhodes, on the other hand, is fantastic. He has a good gimmick inspired by Dr. Doom and he has the fantastic paper bag thing. Ted DiBiase is less interesting, basically being a watered down version of his father, the Million Dollar Man. Regardless, this is the only time that the handicap matches seem fair because Jackson is about as big as Rhodes and DiBiase combined. Rhodes wins with his remarkably cool finisher. After the match we get a promo from Jinder Mahal that is entirely in Indian and whatever the Great Kali speaks. I'm sorry to the people who actually speak Indian, but that did nothing for me.
And now we get to the main event, between two wrestlers I'm getting tired of. I find it ironic that Randy Orton's theme song would almost fit R-Truth better, though. Orton's gimmick is kind of boring, essentially being a sociopath, which is fine for a heel, but he's supposed to be a face. Despite my disdain for their gimmicks, this is a good match. Both of them are in fantastic shape and this match shows that off. There aren't any amazing spots, just two really solid performances. Right before the commercial break, Christians comes out. We'll see how that affects it.
Starts out with whatever the hell R-Truth's 360 move which looked really crazy. I have no idea what it was supposed to do, but it looks cool. R-Truth takes control of the match after that move, but eventually Orton Hulks out and starts dominating. Of course, while I call it Hulking out after what Hogan used to do, it's more interesting with Orton because he just starts dominating instead of ignoring all the hits. I feel like getting hit with an open water bottle wouldn't hurt all that much, but it sure looks good. Orton calmly taking a drink from the busted bottle is pretty good, though I'm always disappointed when a match ends with a DQ, and this one just strengthens my belief that Orton should be a heel. The post match beating is a heel tactic, not face!
