Review: Magic 2013 Wrap-up

Today I'm going to finish up my review of Magic 2013. First up I'll look at the Artifacts, Lands and the sole Gold card, then I'll make my decisions on best flavor, best design and best overall for the entire set.

Review: Green in Magic 2013

Green is my other favorite color, next to Blue. My first named deck (Psuedo-Stompy) was Green, and it performed admirably for years despite only have 13 land, which makes NO SENSE. Hey, maybe I can remake it? Or maybe it will still be a terrible idea! Let's find out!

Review: Red in Magic 2013

I'm really excited for this post. I personally identify with Red the most (being Red/Blue) and it's also been one of my favorite colors to play in the past.

Review: Black in Magic 2013

I'm actually pretty excited to talk about Black. While it's never been my favorite color, my first deck that did well at tournaments was a black/red control deck built around the Torment nightmare horrors. Faceless Butcher in particular has a lot of nostalgia for me, so I'm always interested in building a new black/red control deck. Maybe I can do it this time?

A note; if I don't mention a card, that means I like the flavor but not enough to call it out.

Review: Blue in Magic 2013

Today we're talking about Blue in Magic 2013! What a surprise!

Review: White in Magic 2013

This is going to be a series of 6 posts, reviewing Magic 2013 from both a game design and a flavor perspective. The first five posts will each cover one color, while the final post will be review the remainder (multicolor, artifacts, lands) and the overall set.

WWE Raw 5/7/12

Tonight: Laurinitis is abusing his power! What a twist!

Johnny boy comes out, saying he was defending his honor from John Cena, after he was called an idiot and a corporate jackass. He goes on saying that he's going to humble Cena at Over the Limit. He gets most of the crowd chanting Cena's name, which is great. He's a fantastic heel. He then starts bragging about how big he was in Japan. After he's done but before he leaves the ring, Punk comes out. I love it every time he comes out to talk. Everything is pretty predictable, though I love the dig at Johnny Ace's “Republican tie.”

There's a nice segment backstage where Laurinitis gets mad at Big Show, who then imitates his voice. Eve catches him, and it's clear why he's going to lose his match with Cody Rhodes for the title. It's a short match, with Cody abandoning the match. Eve comes out, demanding that Big Show apologize for making fun of Laurinitis's voice. She mocks him, calling him a freak and saying that he couldn't get a job outside of the WWE. Not sure where this is going.

Up next is Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler. AW is watching the match with Epico, Primo and Rosa. This is a good match, and Dolph has an amazing dropkick to knock them down. Weirdly, Mason Ryan joins AW and EPR in the back. Ziggler wins off a Zigzag made possible by Swagger's intervention.

After the break is John Cena via satellite, being interviewed by Michael Cole. They're both good and play their roles well, but there isn't uch to say. Next match is Layla and Kelly Kelly vs. Natalya and Maxine. Natalya doesn't even get a chance to tag in, though Maxine is pretty good.

It's amazing how much better Jericho and Alberto del Rio's entrances are, compared to Randy Orton and Sheamus. This is a great match – all these men clearly deserve to their main event status. Jericho ends up getting the pin off a Codebreaker, after Sheamus accidentally hit Orton with a Brogue Kick. After the match, Orton hits Sheamus with an RKO. After the break, Jericho goes to talk to Laurinitis, followed by Alberto. Orton comes in and attacks, followed by Sheamus, leading to a four way brawl. Once they clear out, Laurinitis tells Sheamus that the World Heavyweight Championship match at Over the Limit will be a Fatal Fourway.

I love The Miz's nerd reference to Mike Tyson's Punchout on his way to face Brodus Clay. I think this is the longest singles match Brodus has been in as the Funkasaurus. Miz doesn't give Brodus any space once he gains control. This is definitely the hardest that Brodus has to fight so far, though he ends up winning off the big splash. They show a new B.A.Star video package, and I find it hard to believe that Mark Henry has been bullied. Who would bully that?

A new video package, this time recapping the showdown between HHH and Brock Lesnar last Monday. Then Paul Heyman comes out, and I'm pretty surprised to see him. He is representing Brock Lesnar, and he does a great job talking up Brock Lesnar. He gets a brief bit of applause, then it gets turned into boos. He reads a great letter that Lesnar allegedly wrote, saying that he's never coming back and that he quit. There's a cute sketch between Big Show and the two actors from that new show, Common Law.

Punk comes out for his match against Lord Tensai, but Laurinitis changes it to a handicap match against Tensai and Daniel Bryan. This is a great match, with Tensai and Daniel Bryan keeping Punk on the defensive for most of the match. Punk gets a comeback against Bryan, almost hitting a GTS before Bryan tags out. Punk manages to knock down Tensai and almost hits the Macho Elbow, if not for Bryan interfering. Lord Tensai uses the green mist, hitting Punk with the claw for the win. Afterwards, Bryan attacks Punk and locks in the Yes Lock.

Overall a good episode. The Brodus Clay match was surprisingly good, and the handicap match was excellent.

WWE Raw 4/30/2012

The brief video package from Extreme Rules is great. After that, Laurinitis starts out Raw by saying how much better everything is because of him. He introduces Lesnar, but HHH interrupts him, and the crowd goes wild! I love Triple H so much – despite all the shit he's done backstage, he's a phenomenal performer. He dismantles everything that Laurinitis promised Lesnar last week, saying that Laurinitis overstepped his bounds. This is fantastic, and everytime HHH says “Brock” I think he's going to say “brah.” It's also very enjoyable when HHH tells Laurinitis to shut up, but he gets distracted long enough for Brock to attack him from behind, eventually getting him in a Kimura. The midcard faces (Big Show, R-Truth and Kofi) plus Sheamus come to his rescue, and they're selling it like Triple H broke his arm. After the break, it's revealed that Lesnar may have dislocated his elbow.

Tonight they're going to determine the number one contender to the WWE Champion in a beat the clock challenge. The first match is Santino vs. The Miz, whose jacket is awesome – it looks like it's inspired by Ezio Auditore. I like the beat the clock challenges, it inverts the normal amount of time the superstars usually get – the midcarders get longer than the main eventers. This is a good match, with the Miz setting the time to beat at 4:18.

The next match is a triple threat match for the Divas championship, between the Bellas and Layla. Layla dropkicks the Bellas, then pins one of them in about five seconds. It looks like the length of Divas matches is back to normal. They don't waste any time before introducing Jericho for his Beat the Clock match. Not much happened during that segment. After the break we get to see that Jericho is facing Big Show. This is a good match, mostly on Jericho's side, though Big Show puts Jericho in an impressive small package. Big Show goes for the WMD, which Jericho dodges and goes for the Codebreaker, which is countered and Jericho gets tossed out of the ring, pulling Big Show with him. Jericho wins by ten count, but it's unclear if he beat the time. After the break they show that Jericho just barely didn't make it in time, and the Miz is still the time to beat.

Next match is Brodus Clay, whose entrance is starting to drag on a bit too much, against JTG, who I forgot existed. This is not part of the Beat the Clock challenge. JTG has a brief moment after he hits a low blow and then later after he knocks him down at the knee, but Brodus stays in control for the most part. Brodus wins off a big splash. They then show the Cena video package from Extreme Rules, followed by a recap of Lesnar attacking HHH. There's a segment between Eve and Laurinitis, with Eve saying that Laurinitis needs to be a leader. He then says that he knows who Cena's next opponent will be, saying that Cena won't like it.

Next is another Beat the Clock match, this time with Randy Orton facing Jack Swagger. Clearly Orton is going to win, the question is how fast he does it. Swagger does get an impressive distance on a Swagger Bomb, and there is some very good back and forth. I'm shocked when Swagger counters the RKO into a Ankle Lock, but Orton gets out of it and hits an RKO for the win, setting the new time as 4:16.

Up next is Epico and Primo vs. R-Truth and Kofi for the Tag Team Championship. They couldn't have found time for a Tag Team Championship match at Extreme Rules? I do enjoy how Primo mimes punting Little Jimmy, leading to R-Truth going berserk on him and gaining control. The commentary reveals how much they care about the match – instead of talking about the match, they talk about how the Bellas were fired and Triple H's arm is broken. Epico and Primo are in control on R-Truth after the commercials, but Kofi gets tagged in, eventually winning off a Trouble in Paradise. Backstage after the commercials, Epico, Primo and Rosa agree to be represented by Abraham Washington.

I don't want to watch this long of a match between Kane and Khali. Kane can pull it off, but Khali will get boring fast. They run out the time, and the crowd starts booing. They are clearly as impressed as I am.

The final Beat the Clock match is Daniel Bryan vs... Jerry Lawler. Seriously? The crowd is as bored with this as I am, hardly making any noise at all. Lawler is doing a very good job, and it's clear why he used to be one of the best in the world, but I'm pretty sure it's Bryan who's going to win. I'm not sad about this, as Bryan and Punk are amazing together. Unsurprisingly, Bryan gets Lawler into the Yes Lock for the win and will face Punk for the WWE Championship at Over the Limit in three weeks.

Cena comes out after the break to almost universal applause and with his arm in a sling. He gets a brief promo along the same lines as his promos against The Rock. Laurinitis comes out, claiming that he was trying to motivate Cena when he was calling Brock the new face of the company. Cena's great in this promo, leading up to Laurinitis introducing Lord Tensai as his opponent at Over the Limit, but then surprising us by hit Cena with a mic and announcing himself as Cena's next opponent. They then finish the episode by beating on Cena's bad arm.

WWE Raw 4/23/2012

Tonight: a contract signing and the worst moonwalk ever!

To start this three hour edition of Raw, there's Teddy Long introducing Cena, who has a new Titantron to match his new shirt. A whole lot of green. It looks like they're starting the show with the contract signing between him and Brock Lesnar. At least they're getting it out of the way quickly, as Teddy Long introduces Lesnar. Instead Laurinitis comes out, saying that Lesnar isn't there yet and tells Teddy to tell Cena to get out of the ring. As he continues talking, he's interrupted by the sweetest sound of all: you think you know me. Edge is there, and I am shocked. He explains that he's there to talk to John Cena – not as he is now, but as he was when they were rivals. He is pushing Cena because he says that he has to beat Lesnar, because Lesnar doesn't care about the business, while it's been both Edge and Cena's life since childhood. This is why Edge is one of the best and why he definitely deserves to be in the Hall of Fame.

After the break, we get the first match of the night: Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston. They need to decide how they're going to use Kofi – he was getting a solid push for a while, but he's back to jobbing for the main eventers. He does have a very strong showing here, taking control of the match and having a great move where he aborts a suicide dive by grabbing the ropes. Jericho gains control after hitting Kofi in the eyes. Kofi briefly regains control for a near fall, but Jericho has a great counter. Jericho tries to dive on Kofi in the corner, but gets thrown out of the ring for his trouble, followed by a dive from Kofi. There's some more great back and forth after the commercial, culminating in a Boom Drop. Instead of going for a cover, he goes for a Trouble In Paradise, which Jericho counters, leading to a huge Codebreaker and the Walls of Jericho for the win. Jericho then has a brief promo.

There's a segment after the break where Eve becomes Johnny Ace's secretary. Then they show the Lesnar video, which is good as far as these packages go. This is a good character for Lesnar – he's not very skilled on the mic, so treating it like a business and showing disdain for Cena is a good way to go.

They then show the gift that Jericho gave Punk which is, predictably, liquor. Punk then passes it on to Josh atthews, who seems happy to take it off his hands.

Next match is R-Truth vs. Lord Tensai. I really want to be interested in Tensai, but he just isn't very interesting. The WWE doesn't need another Monster Heel. I'm also not a fan of the hissing he does during the match. It's not intimidating, just annoying.

Kane gets some mic time before the next match, leading to Orton threatening Paul Bearer. Kane then says he doesn't care what happens to Paul, and starts to leave when Orton attacks him and beats him with a pipe. A good segment, the only bad thing is that Paul Bearer didn't get a chance to speak.

After the break, Alex Riley leads Jericho to CM Punk's locker room, where Punk is apparently drinking. Don't know how I feel about that, I was hoping that Punk would smash that bottle over Jericho's head.

The next match is Cody Rhodes and Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show and Khali. It starts with Cody and Khali in the ring, with Khali starting out in control. Rhodes and Del Rio do a good job of selling for Khali, despite the fact that he can barely move. After the match Big Show gets tagged in, and Ricardo interferes almost causing him to be counted out. Cody Rhodes and Alberto tag out repeatedly, wearing Big Show down until Rhodes gets Big Show in a figure four leglock. Big Show slaps his way out, then kicks out of a near fall. Del Rio abandons Rhodes, leading to Khali getting the head chop followed by Big Show's choke slam for the win.

Right after the break, Jericho tries to convince Laurinitis to strip CM Punk of his belt because he was drinking. Laurinitis agrees to submit him to a field sobriety test. Lesnar then finally arrives, and attacks Josh Matthews, who was trying to interview him.

The next match is for the Divas Championship, between a Bella and Beth Phoenix. Eve comes out to announce it will be a “Lumberjill” match. Whichever Bella is in there does a decent job, but Beth Phoenix is simply a better wrestler – it's just not believable for either of the Bellas to win. After Nikki gets thrown out, Beth follows and lands badly, hurting her ankle. After she gets thrown back in, Nikki rolls her up for the win, further degrading the Divas Championship.

Afterwards, we get to see Punk pretend to be drunk and do a pretty bad job of it. Following the break, Jericho comes out allegedly to make sure Teddy Long does it correctly. When Punk is introduced, he comes out pretending to be drunk again. He actually is doing a good imitation this time – he's probably had plenty of experience watching his friends get drunk. Possibly the most amusing part is where he hands his mic to a cop so he can pose on the ring post, though him putting the gum on the ring post is hilarious. CM Drunk is kind of funny. He is almost forced to give up his title, but Punk reveals he was faking it the entire time and does the backwards alphabet and walking the line easily. He then jumps Jericho, kicking his ass all the way up the ramp.

The next match is Sheamus vs. Mark Henry, with Daniel Bryan as special ref. Daniel Bryan spends most of the match trying to tempt Sheamus into punching him. This distracts him long enough for Mark Henry to knock him down so Bryan can do a fast count to give him the win. After the match Sheamus attacks Bryan after he takes off the ref shirt, leading to the both getting back in the ring. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Henry, and then Bryan gets Sheamus into the Yes Lock. After the break Sheamus briefly talks about how Daniel Bryan should be praying before their match Sunday.

Next up is Epico and Primo vs Zack Ryder and Santino. It's good that they're all getting screen time, and this is a decent match, if a bit short. Santino gets his Five Moves in, with a great recovery after getting hit by a drop kick to respond with a Cobra for the win. Following the break, we find Kane going into the freezer to save Paul Bearer. Except that he just takes the tape off his mouth, then rolls him right back into the freezer. Then we see Epico and Primo talk to AW, who offers the some advice.

Next match is Brodus Clay and Hornswoggle vs. American Perfection. I feel bad for the live audience. Did they have to watch Brodus and Hornswoggle dance through the entire commercial break? Ziggler and Hornswoggle start off the match – Hornswoggle gets a huracanrana on Ziggler, giving him time to tag in Brodus. He then takes control, manhandling Ziggler and Swagger. Vickie slaps Brodus, causing American Perfection to get disqualified. It all ends with Hornswoggle biting Vickie on the ass. That's disappointing, to say the least.

Finally we get to the contract signing. Laurinitis and Lesnar come out, then Cena doesn't come out when his theme plays. Because Cena doesn't come out, Lesnar starts making demands of Laurinitis. Lesnar is really being a bully this time, and that's really getting played up here. Oddly enough, I actually feel some sympathy for Laurinitis here. He gets a lot less sympathy from me when he caves in and agrees to his ridiculous list of demands. Cena finally comes out after Brock signs the Extreme Rules contract. He acts very skittish, wrapping his chain around his knuckles and hesitating about signing the contract. Cena seems to have lost his confidence, looking like he's afraid of Lesnar.

Another good episode of Raw, with a surprisingly good contract signing.

WWE Raw 4/16/2012

Tonight on Raw: I don't have the presence of mind to summarize right now!

Wow, Brock Lesnar already made it to the opening! We start out with what should be the main event – CM Punk vs Mark Henry, No DQ, No count out for the WWE Championship. Mark Henry gets the jobber's entrance – starting in the ring, no music or anything. It follows the same story as the previous two weeks – Punk struggling to get control, only for Henry to do a big move. They go out of the ring fairly early, taking advantage of the fact that there are no count outs. The crowd is great, really helping the feel of the match. Punk goes to the top rope, which Henry counters to a World's Strongest Slam, which is countered to a drop kick. Punk manages to get a chair drop off the top rope for the pin.

Jericho comes on the titantron, announcing that he has a title shot at Extreme Rules in a Chicago Street Fight. He then shows footage of Punk going into a pub, as Jericho continues to say that he's going to turn Punk into an alcoholic.

After the break we get R-Truth as Sherlock, talking to Little Jimmy Watson and saying his job is to find Teddy Long a job. Santino goes through an act of wearing a number of football shirts, going through a number of non-local (to London, where Raw is tonight) teams before getting to England and getting cheered. The crowd clearly enjoyed it. He's facing Otunga for the US Championship. Otunga counters Santino's split dodge, then gets a two count. Then Santino uses that dodge successfully, going into his Five Moves and hitting the Cobra for the win.

Lord Tensai has a brief promo, saying that he should be the one that we should fear. After the commercial is Lesnar's promo, where he reveals that his match against Cena is going to be a Hardcore match. After that is Kane vs. Zack Ryder. Kane kicks Ryder off the apron before the bell even rings, not allowing Ryder to catch a breath at all. Ryder gets in the ring just to get a Chokeslam from Hell. Kane then grabs a mic while Ryder's out, ignoring Ryder in favor of insulting Randy Orton.

There's a great promo between Daniel Bryan, AJ and Kofi Kingston in which Bryan renames the Lebelle lock to the Yes Lock. Because when the ref asks if you want to submit, that's what you'll say.

Cena comes out to his usual reaction along with the dueling chants. He says that he is scared, but he will fight regardless. I like this new direction for Cena – the underdog who will fight no matter the odds. Laurinitis comes out, and I can barely here his first few lines because of the deafening boos from the crowd. He stumbles over a line, but he's still a great heel. He's not perfect, and isn't at Vince McMahon's level yet, but he could get there.

After the break, they show Hornswoggle reading a book when Truth comes out of a secret door next to him. This is pretty good. This is followed by Bryan vs. Kingston. Bryan gains control early, and just wears down Kingston for most of the match. At one point he simply stands on Kingston's throat, and it looks incredibly painful. Kofi hits the Boom Drop, but the follow up Trouble In Paradise is countered. Daniel Bryan eventually locks in the Yes Lock for the win. He puts Kofi in the Yes Lock again after the bell, but Sheamus comes to save him, though Bryan dodges the Brogue Kick.

Somebody call my Mama, the Funkasaurus is here! And he's facing Dolph Ziggler, accompanied by Vickie Guerrero and Jack Swagger as always. Sadly the match is short because the ref catches Swagger interfering, giving Brodus the victory through DQ.

After another visit from R-Holmes, there's Epico and Primo vs. Big Show and Khali. Epico and Primo will have to move twice as much to have an average amount of movement in this match. AW comes out to... well, to watch the match. It looks like he's going to be a new manager, possibly feuding with Vickie Guerrero? E&P try to leave, but Big Show tosses them back in the ring. They hit a simultaneous Chokeslam and Punjabi Plunge for the win.

And now we get the final match, an extreme rules match between John Cena and a mystery opponent. Cena actually gets more cheers than he usually does. Laurinitis comes out to announce that his opponent is Lord Tensai. I'm glad he's getting pushed this quickly. I had started getting bored of his matches already – another monster heel that was only in squash matches. I do find it amusing that his “tattoos” are messed up tonight.

Tensai is pretty dominant early on, tossing Cena around the ring pretty easily. Cena goes for a Five Knuckle Shuffle, which Tensai counters and hits Cena with the backsplash. He moves it into a ground submission, which Cena counters into the STF. Otunga interferes, then Tensai uses the poison mist spray to blind Cena and pin him for the win. I'm disappointed that Tensai didn't go to torture Cena afterwards.

A good episode, though I'm not sure how I feel about Lord Tensai now.

WWE Raw 4/9/2012

Tonight: Lesnar, Tensbert, Jerichohol, CM Drunk.

I am very sad. The new Stooges are going to be guest starring. I am cheered up when Laurinitis comes up, now with his own theme. It's very appropriate. He's out to introduce Brock Lesnar, saying he is the new face of the WWE and will bring legitimacy back to the business. Lesnar gets a lot of heat immediately by thanking Laurinitis for bringing him back, leading to Cena (mostly) getting cheered when he comes out. Cena simply slaps Lesnar, leading to a tackle and a brawl. Everyone comes out to try to stop it, though it doesn't work well. Cena starts bleeding from the mouth, and I'm enjoying this a surprising amount. They have to drag Lesnar out of the ring. This is how you start a feud!

Laurinitis is blaming Teddy Long for not keeping Cena in control, and then Eve comes in to try and talk to him. Up next is Santino and Brodus Clay vs. American Perfection. Santino and Brodus make a fantastic team. Santino and Ziggler start out the match, though they tag out fairly early. Swagger and Santino are in the ring, with Swagger in solid control when he tags in Ziggler. Santino gets the tag, and Brodus crushes Ziggler for the win. After the match we go backstage to Miz trying to talk to Laurinitis, who blows him off. Teddy then brings Cena in, who has a nice brief promo, then insists that he gets put in a match. Laurinitis obliges, putting hi in a match with... Otunga. Yeah, cause he's a threat... Then there's a brief segment of Santino looking for the Stooges.

After the break, he finds Kane. Kane simply stares him down until he retreats. The next match is R-Truth vs. Cody Rhodes. Two great wrestlers, but I'm really hoping that Big Show comes out to taunt Rhodes again. Rhodes hits Truth with an Alabama Slam, and out comes Big Show! He shows him a video of him showing the Wrestlemania clip from last week. Truth hits the Little Jimmy for the win. I'm really enjoying this feud. I hope they do this one more time – recursive embarrassment! A video of him showing a video of him showing a clip! Sadly, next is Santino finding the “Stooges.” It's pretty much as awful as I imagined it would be. The only one who does a decent impression is Curly.

The next match is Lord Tensai facing Yoshi Tatsu. Or, rather, Lord Tensai crushing Yoshi Tatsu. As expected, Tensai takes control immediately. The crowd chants Albert at him, which I find pretty amusing. The ref stops the match, and Tensbert hits Tatsu with the claw. I think that the Tensai gimmick has potential, but there are too many monster heels already. And his gimmick is essentially the Mighty Whitey. It could have led to a fun feud with Yoshi Tatsu, but they'd have to build up Tatsu first, which they clearly aren't willing to do.

After we return there's a recap of the events between Punk and Jericho last week. It's amazing how quickly everyone came out to the ring for Cena and Lesnar, but nobody came out for Jericho and Punk or Tensbert and Tatsu. Punk comes out for his match, but first he comes to the center of the ring and talks about what happened last week. He talks about how proud he is of being straight edge, and how he never wanted anyone to feel sorry for him. I'm glad that they're bringing up the fact that he's straight edge as a positive – he's a better role model than Steve Austin ever was. He brings up the fact that Jericho tapped out at Wrestlemania, which is great. There need to be more submissions in the WWE, which is why I'm a Daniel Bryan fan.

Jericho interrupts him, claiming that Punk is hungover or drunk. He finally calls Punk “CM Drunk” which I've been waiting for. Punk says it's no longer about being the best in the world, and is now about kicking Jericho's ass. Then out comes Mark Henry to face Punk for the title. The match is over moments after the break ends, when Punk hits Henry with one of the monitors on the announce table. Punk goes to hit Henry with it again, but is distracted by Jericho long enough for Henry to regain control and hit two World Strongest Slams. Jericho has two 24 packs of generic looking beer. He pulls out one and opens it, but Punk gets up and tackles Jericho. Jericho hits Punk with a Codebreaker, then starts dumping cans on Punk in the center of the ring. Refs only come out to stop him after he's already dumped six or seven cans on him. Jericho then takes the opportunity to hit Punk with another Codebreaker, knocking Punk out.

Next is Zack Ryder vs. Alberto Del Rio. Del Rio is in control for the early part of the match, until Ryder gets a nice counter in the corner leading to a Broski Boot. Del Rio counters the Rough Ryder and hits the Cross Arm Breaker for the win.

The Stooges come out to a pretty terrible reception. Nobody is happy, and it only gets worse when “Curly” comes out dressed as Hulk Hogan. While he does a surprisingly good impression, the crowd is having none of it. Everyone's happy when Kane comes out. It's pretty good when Kane chokeslams “Curly,” but this segment was a waste of everyone's time.

Lesnar gets a good promo, though his voice still sounds weird coming out of him. It's weirdly high and nasal. It's followed by a fantastic video of HHH vs. Undertaker at Wrestlemania. That is the match that I'm sad I didn't see.

The Cena/Otunga match is accompanied by the deafening duelling Cena chants. Otunga puts up a good fight – I particularly like his elbows off the center of the ropes. Otunga has really improved over the past year. I can almost believe that Otunga could win briefly. However, Cena turns it around to hit the AA and STF. Lesnar then sneaks in and hits a low blow on Cena, followed by an F5.

Overall this was a good episode. The Stooge segments were about the same quality as the Divas match it replaced.

WWE Raw 4/2/2012

Tonight: A lackluster debut, some great matches, and a fantastic return.

The show opens with Johnny Ace addressing the WWE superstars and divas in a fine segment, showing off how his reign will go by setting up Santino vs Ziggler and Swagger for that championship, and Punk vs. Henry for the WWE championship. Punk sets himself up as the new Stone Cold.

First up on the actual show is The Rock, coming out to celebrate after his victory last night. He says it was an honor immediately after dismissing the STF. He also guarantees that this is only the beginning, though I expect he won't be back until next year's Road to Wrestlemania. This is a good promo, and he seems to have gotten some of his old energy back after the match last night, even if he stumbles over his words a few times. He goes onto say that he will be WWE Champion, which is an interesting idea. It's probably what he'll do at next year's Wrestlemania.

Next up is the triple threat match for the US Championship, between Santino, Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler. It starts strong, with Ziggler and Swagger teaming up on Santino and keeping control through the commercial break except for some brief moments where Santino gets control. Ziggler counters a Cobra for the near fall, which leads Swagger and Ziggler to start fighting each other. This allows Santino to hit Swagger with the Cobra for the win. American Perfection go to attack him, only for Brodus Clay to defend him. Santino dances with him, and I desperately want them to become a tag team.

Next is the somewhat anticlimactic introduction of Lord Tensai. They couldn't have had him come in for a storyline? His appearance doesn't have the same shock value as Brodus's return. Still, this is a good enough squash match. Oh yeah, he's squashing Alex Riley. It showcases his personality, refusing to pin and just tormenting Riley. It has the odd effect of getting the crowd to chant for Riley. That wasn't a very successful introduction.

They've been showing recaps of Cena saying that he needed to win. They're really stressing how Cena's lost everything, and I'm curious what's going to happen.

CM Punk vs Mark Henry is up next, and Punk is selling injuries received last night against Jericho. Henry is mostly in control here, though it is clear that it's because Punk is still recovering from last night. The Bryan “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!” chant starts up again, for the third or fourth time tonight. If the WWE was trying to turn both Sheamus and Bryan last night, they may have succeeded. Punk counters a bear hug into a DDT for a near fall. Henry breaks the pin by tossing Punk away, which is my favorite way of breaking a pin. Punk keeps gaining control briefly, only to be stopped by some very good counters from Mark Henry. They come back from the break for another great example of one of Henry's counters.

This crowd is in revolt! They start chanting Daniel Bryan while Henry has Punk in a hold, though they start chanting for Punk before the hold is broken. Punk manages to knock Henry down and hit the Macho Elbow, injuring himself in the process. Punk goes for the bulldog, except Henry counters by throwing Punk out of the ring, leading to a countout and the victory for Henry, though he doesn't gain the title. And then the crowd starts chanting for Lesnar.

Laurinitis says that Punk will be defending the belt more often. Then Jericho comes out and dumps some Jack Daniels on Punk's face. He goes on to smash another bottle on Punk's head. This feud clearly isn't over, that much is clear.

After the break, there's a recap of the “match” between Sheamus and Daniel Bryan, leading to Sheamus entering to deafening boos. Before he gets to say anything, Alberto Del Rio enters to a more favorable reaction. That's... kind of shocking. And the crowd starts chanting “Si! Si! Si! Si!” Del Rio tries to talk, but can barely be heard over the Daniel Bryan chants. Sheamus starts talking, and gets boos again. Del Rio and Sheamus have a match Friday, but Del Rio's mic keeps cutting out. When he goes to switch mics, Sheamus surprises him with a Brogue Kick. That's... really a dick move. Only Orton can get away with doing something like that. They go backstage to Josh Matthews and Daniel Bryan. Matthews asks what he's feeling, and Bryan just stares him down.

More pictures from Wrestlemania, then Cody Rhodes comes out with a new entrance jacket. It looks good. He's facing Kofi Kingston. Rhodes is looking more serious than he has since he ditched the mask. Big Show comes out midway through the match to present an embarrassing Wrestlemania moment for Cody Rhodes. Kofi hits a Trouble in Paradise thanks to the distraction for the win.

It looks like Mark Henry is going to get a manager, which is good because he isn't the best talker. Then Eve comes out, clearly looking to get on Johnny Ace's good side.

The next match is The Miz against Zack Ryder. For those who don't know, The Miz is the one who beat Ryder last night to give Team Johnny the win. Miz starts out taunting Ryder, which Ryder takes advantage of and takes control for a while. Miz counters and gains control briefly, though Ryder retakes control, hitting the Broski Boot for a near fall. The Miz ends up hitting a Skullcrushing Finale for the win.

Cena comes out after the break, with the crowd back to booing him. He teases a heel turn, though he obviously doesn't follow through. He goes on to say that he isn't there to call out The Rock, to be interrupted by a “We want Lesnar” chant. He does invite the Rock to the ring so he can show his respect. He keeps getting interrupted by the crowd, though – with both the “We want Lesnar” and “Daniel Bryan” chants. And then, when Cena invites Rock out again, Brock Lesnar comes out and the crowd goes berserk. Lesnar offers Cena his hand, then hits him with an F5.

Overall, this was a good and very strange show. The crowd was hostile, but the matches were solid.

WWE Raw 3/27/2012

Tonight: The last show before Wrestlemania does its job hyping up the crowd.

Welcome to the final Raw before Wrestlemania! To start off this show, we have Randy Orton and Sheamus vs. Kane and Daniel Bryan. For some reason, Bryan kissing AJ looks really gross. It starts with Bryan and Orton, with Orton taking control for the most part. After Kane and Sheamus tag in, Sheamus gets knocked out and Bryan does his great running dropkick. After we get back from break, Sheamus and Bryan are in the ring, with Bryan in control. Sheamus tags out, and Orton quickly goes into his Five Moves, only prevented from doing the RKO because Kane pulled Bryan out of the ring. This enables them to regain control, leading to Kane being tagged in. Eventually Kane lands a flying clothesline, leading to an attempted chokeslam, countered by a dropkick which leaves both of them on the mat. After Sheamus and Bryan tags in, AJ gets in the ring to distract the ref, allowing Kane to hit a chokeslam so Bryan can pin Sheamus for the victory.

After the break, Michael Cole is in the ring and puts on a Team Johnny shirt. Cole introduces Johnny Ace, who really needs theme music. He then announces that Vickie Guerrero is his flagbearer, then introduces David Otunga, who looks like he's wearing a bib. This leads to Booker T introducing Teddy Long, who brings out Santino and Hornswoggle. There's a great moment in this match when the flags enter the ring, leading to Otunga hitting himself in the face, getting hit by the Cobra and pinned. Teddy pushes Johnny down, and Santino sets up to hit Mr. Excitement with the cobra, but Miz stops him and earns the last spot on Team Johnny.

They're showing highlights of the Rock/Cena feud over the past year, and they're pretty good. They then show a great montage hyping up Undertaker vs. Triple H. The montage ends, going into a recap of the feud leading up to their match, and it reminds me how excellent it has been. Sadly, we then go into a match between Eve and Kelly Kelly.

Kelly Kelly starts a hoeski chant, and the match is as weak as expected. I continue to hate Kelly Kelly's pathetic excuse for a huracanrana, which was preceded by the worst example of hitting the ropes I've ever seen. Then there's the weirdest attempt of a small package pin ever. Ugh.

The next match should be better – Christian vs. CM Punk. Before the match Jericho comes on the Titantron to taunt Punk some more. Tonight he brings his mother into it, saying that she's the only person that's not an embarrassment. He then brings up that Punk's parents weren't married when he was born, saying that makes Punk the “legal definition of a bastard.” Christian sneak attacks Punk before the match, but Punk ends up unloading on Christian, taking out all his frustration on him and doing a variation of the GTS using the steel steps instead of his knee, followed by locking Christian in the Anaconda Vice. The match never even starts, and Punk leaves Christian lying outside the ring. This was a great segment.

Funkasaurus! He finally nails the end of his dance. Curt Hawkins manages to take Brodus down, leading to another decent match. Still a squash, but not entirely one sided, which is nice. Another little recap of the Cena/Rock feud, this one showing Cena's great promo which kicked the feud into high gear.

The next match is Big Show vs. Primo. This is completely a squash match, and Epico tries to attack Big Show after the match only to get a chokeslam. Cody Rhodes comes out for one last promo, saying that choking when it's the most important will be known as pulling a Big Show.

There's a brief segment setting up a future feud between the Bellas, then Eve stringing Zack Ryder along again. Josh Matthews “interviews” Punk, though he doesn't even get to ask anything before Punk goes off and gives a great promo.

Next is Mark Henry vs. Khali, and I don't have high hopes for this match. While they enter, it's announced that Christian has been replaced by Drew McIntyre due to his injury. Not sure why Johnny would add him to the team, considering his losing streak. This is a short match, ending with Mark Henry hitting the World's Strongest Slam on Khali. Teddy gets rolled into the ring, then Johnny calls out his team to stop anyone from helping Teddy. All the members of Team Teddy come out and get destroyed, with Mark Henry going for the WSS on Teddy, but Booker T gets involved to save Teddy and knock out Mark Henry. Thus Booker T joins Team Teddy. They finally have a respected world champion on their team. They still look weak, clearly going into the match as the underdogs.

The final Rock/Cena recap is from last weak, where the Rock supposedly looked strong by Rock Bottoming an already beaten Mark Henry. After the break, I'm kind of sad that they've already announced that Flo Rida will be playing in the Rock, and MGK will be playing in Cena. I like the surprise of the big entrances.

Out comes The Rock! He takes a long time to say anything, simply soaking in the crowd's response and encouraging their chants silently. Not a bad promo, it really builds up his egotistical character. Cena interrupts him, coming out to a mixed but overall positive reaction. Cena's promo revolves around the fact that the Rock is a great trash talker, but it doesn't phase him because everyone trash talks him. I love that he brings up that he's been an active part of the WWE longer than the Rock. This is a fantastic promo, and I would say that was a draw – both men looked strong.

Great show, as should be expected for the last Raw before Wrestlemania. I can't pick any best moments, as it was so strong from beginning to end.

WWE Raw 3/19/2012

Holy crap I'm late! Sorry everyone, I had to work closing shift last night and, unfortunately, the same thing will be happening next week.

First up is CM Punk. His feud with Chris Jericho is fantastic, and getting better all the time. Last week's promo by Jericho was fantastic, and Punk's tonight is great. He puts a lot of emotion into it, and it feels real. Honestly, that's the best you could say for any promo. He essentially rejects Jericho, swearing that he won't allow Jericho to get in his head. “There isn't a person on this planet that should let a past nightmare dictate or cloud their future dreams.” Great line. He then goes on to reveal that his father has beaten his alcoholism.

Jericho then comes on the Titantron via satellite to... apologize? He practically begs for forgiveness at first, and swears to never talk about Punk's father again. And then, like a good heel, brings up his sister's substance abuse problem. Oh man, this is the best feud going into Wrestlemania. Punk looks so angry, and lets loose a whole lot of censored speech. I don't think I've ever seen him look that angry!

Wait, seriously? A new Stooges movie? I.... WHAT?

They come back from commercial with Kane doing his in-ring pyro, set to face the Big Show. Cody Rhodes comes out before the match starts, and seems to be joining the commentary team for this match. We get treated to a great video package of Big Show's Wrestlemania moments. This is a short match – Cody distracts Big Show long enough for Kane to hit a top rope choke slam for the win. Rhodes then hits the Beautiful Disaster on Big Show, then handcuffs Big Show to the ropes. Rhodes puts on boxing gloves and pummels Big Show, who is very unsteady after he's released.

Ha! Otunga has jacket around his shoulders as part of his entrance now. That's great. Santino doesn't get as much of a reaction as I expected him too, but the crowd clearly still likes him. Santino has painted abs, and they proceed to have a pose off. Laurinitis ends up distracting Santino long enough for Otunga to pick up the win. Johnny Ace mocks Santino, prompting Teddy to smack him.

There's a video of someone's head, presumably Lord Tensai? Not sure who that is.

Finally The Rock has come back to Philadelllllphia. We get another history lesson from the Rock, saying that he's wanted to be the greatest since he was a child. He also seems to finally give Cena tiny bit of respect, saying that Cena is the final person he has to beat to be the greatest ever. He gets some nice local applause, then starts saying some of the greatest wrestler's catchphrases, including a surprisingly good Macho Man impression. This is a good promo, though for me it only underscores the fact that he's so much better when he's not live.

Before the commercial, Daniel Bryan enters with AJ, who is looking amazing as always. She's definitely my favorite Diva. Coming back from the break, we get a recap of the end of the Jericho vs. Sheamus match Friday. And then out comes Zack Ryder to face Daniel Bryan! They show a short clip of the Ryder rally earlier in the day, showing that Ryder is trying to get on Team Teddy. This is a solid match – Ryder hits the Broski Boot (which always looks really painful) and goes for the Rough Ryder, but Bryan counters it into the Lebell Lock. Ryder taps out far too quickly – it makes him look weak.

Next up is John Cena and, while the boos are still there, they're not nearly as loud as they were before. Mark Henry comes out, and the camera work for his entrance is as fantastic as always. The close shot from behind really emphasizes his size well. It's damn intimidating. This is a fine match, and Mark Henry gets to show off his strength as he takes control early and just manhandles Cena. I wonder if they changed the story of this match because of the car accident. Cena turns it around, hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle and the Attitude Adjustment for the win. I don't care who you are, but seeing Cena hit Mark Henry with the AA is damn impressive. Moments after the bell, The Rock's music hits and he comes down to the ring. He immediately hits Henry with a Rock Bottom, then leaves. I guess this is supposed to be intimidating? I think Cena was more impressive, though Cole tries to make it seem like the Rock Bottom lifted Henry into the stratosphere.

They show a clip from Extra which leads to the announcement of Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos vs Beth Phoenix and Eve at Wrestlemania. Why should I care about this? And why isn't Beth Phoenix defending her title?

The Miz has a great promo, leading into a match against Sheamus. Miz is aggressive, but it's clear from early on that Sheamus is going to get the win. However, Miz puts up a good fight, making it a very close match. Sheamus ends up winning with a Brogue Kick. They cut to Laurinitis and Otunga watching the match, and Otunga's mug is gaudy!

Orton has a brief but effective promo, but I find myself disappointed that Kane doesn't attack him afterwards. After this they show a clip of Big Show, Stephanie McMahon and David Otunga at a Be A Star event. It's nice, though McMahon has historically been a bitchy bully, and Otunga is currently something of a bully. Vicki Guerrero interrupts Jerry Lawler to announce that Swagger and Ziggler are the newest members of Team Johnny.

This leads into American Perfection vs. Kofi and R-Truth. This is a great match, as both teams work really well together. There's a great moment where Swagger tries to break up a pin and ends up hitting Ziggler instead. American Perfection gets the win because Vickie interferes, pushing Truth's foot off the rope. This leads to a cat fight between Aksana and Vickie afterwards.

I don't know if I can say anything about this next bit. HBK, Undertaker and HHH in the ring at the same time? It's as good as anyone could hope for, and I thoroughly enjoy every second. Triple H draws a lot of similarities between himself and Undertaker, in particular the fact that they've both been in 19 Wrestlemanias, and they're both known for the Hell in a Cell matches. I also love that they won't let each other finish what they're saying. One of the things that strikes me, oddly, is how much shorter Shawn Michaels is than either of them. Looking at them together, you wouldn't believe that he is probably the best wrestler of the three.

Overall, I think this was a great episode. I'm not sure where they'll go next week, but I'm excited for Wrestlemania.

WWE Raw 3/12/2012

Tonight: Rock and Rap battle!

Word life! This is basic Thuganomics. We get some rhymes from Cena, and they're pretty awesome. I'm surprised they let him swear (though they obviously censored it) and it was highly amusing.

I love that Vickie's “EXCUSE ME!” interrupted Jerry Lawler. She has a nice couple lines about Daylight Savings Time to introduce Dolph Ziggler. Apparently the first match is Ziggler vs. Sheamus. I kind of like Ziggler's new trunks – it suits him. He is a fantastic wrestler, one of the best in the company – the only heel that matches him is Cody Rhodes.

After Sheamus tosses Ziggler out of the ring, Ziggler crawls under the ring to attack a distracted Sheamus from behind. It's a nice heel tactic. Daniel Bryan and AJ are watching from a skybox, and Bryan claims that he wasn't rude to AJ Friday when he told her to shut up. She doesn't look happy, so maybe she'll turn on him soon? Back to the match, does anyone remember the last time Sheamus actually pulled of the Celtic Cross Powerbomb? It's been countered a lot lately. This has turned into a great match, lasting a surprisingly long time. Sheamus ends up winning off a surprise Brogue Kick. Before they go to commercial, they say that the board of directors finally announced the Team Laurinitis vs. Team Long match at Wrestlemania. Disappointing, but unsurprising.

After the commercial is a mixed tag match. Santino and Aksana vs. Otunga and... Nevermind, Laurinitis changed it to a handicap match with Mark Henry teaming with Otunga. Teddy Long comes out to escort Aksana out, and Henry hits Santino from behind to knock him out for the win. As Henry and Otunga beat on Santino, Kofi and R-Truth come out to help, though they get demolished without being able to put up any sort of offensive. Laurinitis then adds Mark Henry to his team for Wrestlemania.

There's a fairly sad promo after the commercial break, showing that the story between Eve and Ryder is continuing. It's kind of sad. It's followed by a much better promo between the Miz, Laurinitis and guest host James Roday (star of Psych). It's quite fun.

The next match is the return of the Funkasaurus, Brodus Clay! I don't care at all about Jinder Mahal, his opponent – I'm just excited Brodus is back. Mahal gets the early offensive, but it turns into a squash match pretty quickly.

HBK comes out after the break (after they point out that some rapper is in the audience, which I don't at all care about). He seems a bit subdued, though the crowd starts chanting regardless. He calls out the Undertaker, and there is a noticeable pause between him doing that and 'Taker's entrance music starting. I don't think it means anything, and the promo between HBK and Undertaker is fantastic. 'Taker threatens HBK, saying that if the match isn't called fairly, that he will end him.

James Roday announces the next match – The Miz vs. CM Punk. This is a short, but entertaining match, ending when Miz taps to the Anaconda Vise. Jericho gets a great promo, telling Punk that he's destined to be an alcoholic like his father. I don't know if that's true or not, but Punk really seems affected by it. The only thing that could have made that better was if the sad Hulk music played as Punk walked out.

Next is Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger. Swagger's hair looks really weird. It's not a bad match, though the result is obvious from the beginning. Orton wins, and Kane's pyrotechnics go off, though Kane doesn't enter.

Christian's returning Friday! Finally!

Rock comes out for the final segment, and starts with his regular schtick – the catchphrases, chants and pandering to the crowd. The song is better than I expected, though I think Cena's rap was better. I'm disappointed that Rock goes directly to the gay jokes and calling Cena a woman. And then he goes into old nerd jokes about Cena's fans. And then he has a joke about sleeping with Cena's mom. I really wish he had some new material – these are all old jokes. When they do their own version of We Will Rock You, Rock's performance doesn't impress.

Final thoughts: Jericho, Undertaker and HBK had great promos, while the Rock and Cena's were enjoyable. A number of enjoyable matches make this a good Raw, though not the best.

WWE Raw 3/5/2012

FINALLY! THE ROCK! HAS COME BACK! TO BOOOOSSSSTON!

The show starts out strong with HBK, who strangely still has my favorite ring entrance – for some reason, his pyrotechnics combined with him getting on his knees and shaking his head makes me happy. He cuts a promo with HHH, and it's as good as it is expected to be. They work amazingly well together, and the reveal that Shawn Michaels is the guest referee is obvious but still welcome.

After the commercial there's a United States Championship match between Jack Swagger and Santino Marella. It's a good match, with a great back and forth. The interference from Laurinitis and Otunga hurt it at first, but it had an extremely strong ending after Santino hits Ziggler with the Cobra, following it by countering the Ankle Lock into a three count. We then get Teddy Long booting Laurinitis and Otunga, followed by a celebration by Santino, Teddy Long, Kofi and Aksana (who I wish wasn't involved). I love that Santino is the new US Champion – he really deserves it, and he's better on the mic than most wrestlers in the WWE.

The Dwayne is talking about starting a Rock Revolution. Not sure what sort of revolution this is. He starts out funny as he throws Cena merchandise into the river, but the crack about Cena being a transvestite Wonder Woman lost me – that's not funny. Not a bad promo, but not amazing either.

Of course, next is a Divas match – Eve vs. Alicia Fox, with Kelly Kelly on commentary. The match lasts about a minute, but I get excited when Zack Ryder comes out – broskis before hoeskis! After the commercials, we get to see Eve chase down Zack and kiss him, leaving Ryder smiling. It looks the story will be Eve manipulating Ryder for whatever reason.

Next there's a promo from a thoughtful John Cena. This is a good promo, though I'm sure a lot of people will disagree – it gives Cena a more introspective side, and allows him to show his thoughts without yelling.

Next match is CM Punk and Sheamus vs. Jericho and Daniel Bryan. We start out with Jericho and Punk in the ring, and it is fantastic. They are some of the best technicians ever in the business, and it's a thing of beauty to watch the work together. Punk wins this exchange, as Jericho retreats to tag in Bryan. Punk tags in Sheamus, and they trade blows for a little bit. Jericho hits a sneak attack on Punk to turn control as we go to the break. When we come back, Sheamus regains control until Bryan and Jericho manage another double team. Sheamus manages to take out Jericho, and Punk and Bryan tag in – Punk is doing a great job at selling his back injury, and nails a Macho elbow on Bryan for a near-fall. Eventually Jericho gets the pin on Punk, though I didn't see him tag in this time.

Rock History lesson #2: Paul Revere. I guess if Cena was Paul Revere, we'd still be British. An alright promo again, but the best part is his little song. After the commercial there's a recap of the events between Long and Laurinitis, and then the Miz vs. Big Show. It is immediately interrupted by Cody Rhodes and another Embarassing Big Show Wrestlemania moment, and it is glorious. Big Show wins after a huge Spear and a WMD.

Rock History lesson #3: This is a better promo than the previous two, though he does fall back on his catchphrases a bit much. After the commercials, R-Truth comes out and his talking head interview is one of the better that I've seen. It seems he's facing Kane. Or rather, it seems like he's going to be fed to Kane. Kane starts in control and doesn't lose it except for a very brief oment where R-Truth lands a few kicks. Kane picks up the win after a chokeslam, but Orton comes out afterward and delivers an RKO. This is a weak buildup to a Wrestlemania match.

Next up is John Cena, who gets his normal mixed reaction, though the cheers are a bit louder. I see the Edge and Christian five second pose shirt in the audience, and I am crazy jealous. Cena talks about how exciting it is that the Rock is back, and has some great lines – the line where he compares him to the Situation is brilliant. Cena's entire promo is great, and I really enjoy it. The Rock comes out, and immediately pulls out one of his promos. The Rock claims he can see fear in Cena, and I don't buy it at all. He's then interrupted by the crowd chanting Tooth Fairy. I love that Cena never stops smiling through the Rock's rant. After the Rock leaves, Cena busts out a short but effective promo, complete with a joke about notes on his wrists. Also, Cena's wife is hot!

Final thoughts: A good episode. Highlights were the tag match, Santino winning the US championship and the great duelling promo between the Rock and Cena.

WWE Raw 2/27/2012

Tonight: FINALLY! The Rock comes back to Raw!

We start with a recap of last week's epic Cena promo, then a recap of last week's fantastic Champion vs. Champion match. Jericho comes out instead of Daniel Bryan, and cuts an excellent promo saying that he's always been the best, and how he's the last of a dying breed. He goes on to claim that Punk just wants to be him. Punk starts mocking Jericho because Bret Hart was “The best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be” and Jericho claims he was the first calling himself the best. Jericho then uses the truth (that he has dozens of the best moments that will go down in history). Punk claims that Jericho has lost his confidence, and is insecure. Punk gets some cheers when he brings up the various things that Jericho has done when he hasn't been wrestling. Jericho is the best on the mic in his generation, and Punk is the best in his, and this promo proves it.

After the promo, Daniel Bryan and his posse come to the ring. Seriously, he is followed by AJ, Mr. Excitement and David Otunga. The bell doesn't even ring before the brawl starts. After the commercial, the match is already under way. Unfortunately, the commentators basically ignore the in-ring action to try and push the feud between Teddy Long and Johnny Ace. That could be interesting, but there is some fantastic wrestling going on that they're distracting from. After Punk throws Bryan out of the ring, Bryan uses AJ as a shield to prevent Punk from doing a suicide dive. I've said it before, but that just strengthens the fact that they're drawing from Macho Man and Miss Elizabeth for his heel persona. Otunga, Santino and the GMs cause a distraction, nearly allowing Bryan to escape, but Sheaus throws him back in. This makes Laurinitis call for the bell, and Teddy Long shoves him, almost causing a brawl to break out. As Punk leaves, Jericho ambushes him and body slams him on the stage before putting Punk in the Walls of Jericho. THIS is how you build a feud. This also fully turns the crowd against him for the first time since he returned.

Back from break, Josh Matthews says that Punk seemed more angry than hurt when he was helped to the trainer. We then get a promo about last year's match between Undertaker and HHH. This was one of the best matches I've seen in the past several years. The final moments of the match, where Undertaker wins using the Hell's Gate is one of the best endings to a match I've ever seen. Apparently there's going to be a Cena vs. Miz match later, which I barely care about.

Sadly, the next match is between Nikki Bella and Kelly Kelly. It lasts about as long can be expected, and I found myself extremely bored. The way Kelly pins Nikki at the end seems like she isn't holding Nikki down at all.

There's the same Rock video they've been playing since the Royal Rumble, and then John Cena comes out to a whole lot of applause. Miz gets an appropriately whiny promo where he complains about not being in Wrestlemania this year. This Cena Sucks/Let's Go Cena dueling chants start during the match, but they seem more even than they used to be. This is not a bad match, with decent back and forth and some good counters. I'm surprised they allowed Miz this much time, when the Rock is in the building. Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle into an Attitude Adjustment, followed by an STF for the win. They show the Rock on the titantron, who does Cena's “You can't see me” hand wave.

Next, we have a Triple Threat Tag Match for the Tag Team Championship, which is a great idea, but should be saved for a pay-per-view. Remember when the WWF had a great tag division? The match is between Boom-Truth, American Show-offs and Primo & Epico (those names are not official, but they should be). The only problem with this match is it gets tricky remembering who the legal men are. There isn't a whole lot of good tag manuevers, though Primo and Ziggler teaming up on R-Truth is a nice heel tactic, though R-Truth has a nice move to take them both out. Primo and Epico pick up the win after Swagger gets hit with both a Trouble in Paradise and a Backstabber, and then... Kane? He takes out everybody, and I don't know what his intention was here. Unless Kane is going to form a tag team division?

There's a brief promo that leads to the crowd chanting “horse's ass” about Johnny Ace, and apparently Laurinitis won't be running Raw next week. After we return from break there's a recap of what happened with Eve last week, and she comes out to talk to the crowd. This is a decent promo, acting like she's the victim in all this, and this does not endear her to the crowd at all. I find myself hoping that Lita or Trish Stratus would come out an interrupt her. Unfortunately, she gets to walk out without anyone stopping her. However, she gets confronted by Kelly Kelly backstage. I start liking Eve more when she just laughs at Kelly.

There's a commercial for Edge's movie, Bending the Rules. I want to watch for Edge, but the fact that Jamie Kennedy is in it makes me reluctant. There's a promo teasing the return of Randy Orton this Friday, where he'll face Daniel Bryan. Bryan needs to win decisively or he'll look weak.

We get another embarassing Big Show moment from Coy Rhodes before the next match (Big Show and Sheamus vs Cody Rhodes and Mark Henry) which is fantastic. Cody is an amazing heel, and he'll deserve a shot at one of the world titles within a year. The match lasts only a minute or so, but it was worth it for the continuation of the feud between Big Show and Cody Rhodes. They tease a big announcement tomorrow morning on WWE.com.

HBK is coming back again next week! Exciting, we get to see what part he'll play in the Undertaker/HHH feud. The Rock comes out to the expected crowd response. The crowd won't even quiet down to let him talk for a while. He defends his words from last year, where he said he would never leave again. It's amazing how quickly he gets the crowd back on his side – though I'm not sure about him being made for this business, when he's facing away from all the cameras. You'd think that would be something that the movies would have reinforced in him. This is a good promo, though I don't think it's as good as Cena's last week. The Rock doesn't seem to say anything new here, and the only thing he really says about Cena is that he's a “king pow bitch” and that the crowd latches onto what he says. Admittedly, that's important in this business, but I'm bored by the time Cena comes out.

Cena once again shows that he's still good on the mic, and the Rock finishes it up with some of his catchphrases. A good ending to a decent show. High points were Bryan vs. Punk and The Rock and Cena finally facing off on the mic, while the low points were the Divas match (as always) and Kane's odd appearance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, it's Tuesday morning and I just felt the need to edit this to point out that Cena insulting the Rock about needing notes is (surprisingly) true. That makes me feel a lot worse about the Rock's half of the promo, and it puts me completely in the Cenation for Wrestlemania. Proof here: http://twitpic.com/8pnmb1

WWE Raw 2/20/2012

I was unable to post last night, but I've watched Raw since then and there are a few things that I wanted to comment on.


1) Eve's heel turn was well done, and actually makes some amount of sense. Also, Cena was hilarious.

2) I wish they had drawn out Triple H accepting the match with Undertaker at Wrestlemania for another week or two. I was hoping that Undertaker would play some more mind games, maybe interrupting other matches to prove that denying his rematch is "bad for business." Still, the fact that it will be a Hell in a Cell match is exciting.

3) Cena's promo against Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson was amazing. He's meaner than he was before his feud with Kane, and I'm loving it. No more sucking up to the Rock, no more being polite. The only thing that I want from this feud going forward is for Cena to refuse to call him The Rock, and instead either call him Dwayne or movie star.

4) A good Battle Royale, with a completely unsurprising ending. A few notes within this match: CM Punk is the best commentator in the WWE. It looks like Cody is going to feud with the Big Show, which could be great. And finally, I hope Wade Barrett is okay. This might be good for him, though - once he comes back from this injury (which seems legitimate) hopefully they'll give him a good theme.

Other than that, there isn't much to talk about. The Divas match was as terrible as always, Kofi and R-Truth should form a permanent tag team, and Otunga actually won a match! Amazing.

WWE Raw 2/13/2012

Tonight: HBK returns!

They start with a recap of the lame promo that ended last week's Raw, going right into Kane stating that Cena will embrace the hate tonight and someone will take a ride in an ambulance. So... does that mean the feud is over tonight? I enjoyed it at first, but it's dragged on for too long.

Then we're having an Elimination Chamber... debate? This seems like it could be fun, but it gets interrupted by Mr. Personality himself, John Laurinitis (the EVP of TR and IGM of MNR). All he does is say that he's happy to still be all of those acronyms. Punk gets the first question, insulting Johnny Ace a little bit and says that he's going to win the Elimination Chamber because he's the best wrestler in the world. Jericho gives him an amazing death glare. Ziggler makes a statement, but R-Truth has the best rebuttal of all. It's hard to explain what he says, but he treats this is as an actual election and has a hilarious rant including spider stew. Miz goes on a rant that goes over the time limit and gets buzzed, but Kofi is the one to stop him from talking. Kofi has a decent speech, saying that while he may be an afterthought and unappreciated, but he still could win the Elimination Chamber. Jericho starts using SAT words, claiming that he's been in the most Elimination Chamber matches of anyone in the world, and has eliminated more in those matches than anyone else in the world. He calls CM Punk a boy, which gets him his first big boo since his return. We finally get a taste of what a Punk vs. Jericho promo would be like, and it's exciting. It looks like R-Truth and Ziggler might be feuding soon, which could be good. They announce Kofi vs. Jericho, but Jericho throws a little tantrum, letting Kofi hit a Trouble in Paradise to knock him down.

There's a promo for Kane vs. Cena at Elimination Chamber, which basically summarizes the feud: Kane is crazy and can't stand all the support that Cena gets and wants to bring him down to his level. The basic monster that can't stand anyone being better than him.

They jump right into the match on the return from the commercial break, and Kofi is acting more aggressive than I've seen him, and takes control of the match. Jericho turns it around with a powerbomb from the turnbuckle. As Jericho holds Kofi in a submission hold, the cheers from the crowd are very muddled – it's difficult to hear who they're cheering for. Jericho counters a splash into the Walls of Jericho, which Kofi barely manages to break by grabbing the rope. Jericho thinks he won and argues with the ref, distracting himself and getting hit with another Trouble in Paradise, leading to a near-fall that Jericho breaks by grabbing the rope. Jericho jabs Kofi in the eye, then lands a Codebreaker for the three-count. A good match, they could wrestle a match-of-the-year contender if they were given the time.

We get a recap of what happened between Kane, Cena and Ryder at Royal Rumble. There's a brief promo between John Cena and Zack Ryder, who's still in a wheelchair. The switch between the cheers for Ryder and the boos for Laurinitis is startling. Otunga tries to give Laurinitis some perspective, and it looks like they're planning on getting Laurinitis to replace Teddy Long as GM of Smackdown in addition to becoming the permanent GM of Raw. Then we have a recap of the Big Show and Randy Orton brawling after Smackdown.

Daniel Bryan is going to watch the Orton vs. Big Show match sitting next to the announce table, and it seems like Michael Cole is going to start complimenting Bryan. As a sidenote, I love that they keep showing a notice that the Westminster Dog Show is being shown on CNBC. Back to the match, Big Show and Randy Orton go back and forth until the commercial. When they come back, Orton has Big Show in a sleeper hold, yet it isn't broken up despite Big Show holding the rope. What? Orton gets his huge DDT on the Big Show, this time from the top rope. After two RKOs, Orton looks like he's going to get the win, but Bryan interferes and knocks out both Orton and Big Show with the championship belt. This is a better heel move than anything he's done so far. It looks like they might be building him to be a sort of chessmaster, pitting his foes against each other.

After the break: the Heartbreak Kid, Mister Wrestlemania, Shawn Michaels! The crowd reacts appropriately, and it's always nice to see him. He talks about Triple H and the Undertaker, and how he wanted Triple H to accept the challenge from the Undertaker. HBK claims that he thinks Triple H not accepting the challenge is him playing mind games with the Undertaker, and then brings out Triple H to get him to accept 'Taker's challenge. There's a brief photo op where they make the DX pose, and Triple H makes some good jokes. He then restates the fact that he does not want to face the Undertaker at Wrestlemania. He says that he doesn't want to end the Undertaker, while Shawn Michaels tries to push him into it. Michaels starts insulting Triple H, calling him a sellout and a coward. This is heartbreaking to watch, two people who love each other fighting. Shawn Michaels seems to be losing his voice as the promo goes on.

Triple H goes on an interesting rant about how he has responsibilities to the business now, and the fact that he can't beat the Undertaker because it would be bad for business. This is an amazing promo, and shows why Triple H and Shawn Michaels are two of the best talkers that have ever been in professional wrestling. After Shawn Michaels leaves, the gong hits. Another promo with the Undertaker in the same setting as last week. This one focuses more on what Triple H said last week, and this remains one of the best promos they've done in a long time. In this one, 'Taker... cuts his hair, though he uses a straight razor and somehow manages to make it look intimidating.

After the break we have R-Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler. Both are good at showing their personality in the ring, and this is a great match. It ends when R-Truth takes advantage of Ziggler showing off with situps to roll him up. There's a nice promo between Santino and Zack Ryder. Santino's always enjoyable.

Next we have a divas match, along with the announcement of Tamina vs. Beth Phoenix at Elimination Chamber for the title. The current match is Tamina vs. Brie Bella, and it's surprisingly good for a Divas match, though it's still short. Tamina actually has some skills, and manages to make Brie look good.

After the break there's a promo about the Rock's movie and the press tour he's on for it. First thing that comes to mind is that I'm disappointed that everyone just calls him Dwayne Johnson instead of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. It's a thoroughly boring promo. Sadly, Cena doesn't get to respond to it, as he's interrupted by the sound of Eve screaming as Kane shoves her into the ambulance. Kane almost drives off with her in the back, but she manages to open the door... and then they start making out. And Zack Ryder is right there. Smooth. And then, after the commercial break, Eve puts Zack directly into the friend zone.

That leaves us with the final match of the night, CM Punk vs. the Miz. I have a feeling Miz is going to get crushed here, considering the backstage heat he's been getting. Punk seems to have hurt his left arm at some point during the match, which lets the Miz launch a decent offensive. CM Punk turns it back around to land a Macho elbow, then going for a GTS, which is countered into a Skullcrushing Finale, which is in turn countered into an Anaconda Vise for the win.

After the match, they show Kane's ambulance return. Following the commercial break, John Cena comes out, looking very unsure of himself. He apologizes to Zack, and talks about Kane's plan coming to fruition. The crowd starts a “We all hate you” chant, which is shameful. Cena finally fires back at the haters without being mean or nasty at all. He's about to say something to the Rock, but Ryder comes out and makes his way to the ring. He smacks the mic out of Cena's hand, and then slaps him. Cena takes off his pendant and chain, and almost punches Zack. I kind of wish he had actually attacked Zack, because that would have been a good way to turn Cena heel. Kane comes onto the titantron for an uninspiring speech, where he seems to slip into a southern accent. Kane then pushes Zack off the stage in his wheelchair, and they show the impact, which looks extremely painful. Eve comes out to check on Zack, and gets some nasty heat.

Overall: Despite a weak ending, this was a good episode. Kofi vs Jericho, Punk vs Miz and (surprisingly) Tamina vs Brie Bella were enjoyable, and the Elimination Chamber and HBK promos were good.

Belfire's Journal - part 2

Day 4 continued

Fought with a crazy kobold who controlled rats, then went back to the warden's office to rest.

Notes:
Nietzsche: Seems to be more unbalanced than I thought. Will have to keep an eye on her.

Day 5

We finally get out of the sewers to find a strange town. I bought a room at the inn, bathed and reunited with my raven companion. There seems to be some sort of commotion downstairs, so I'm going to check that out.

Goddamn Azm. We're now being held in some chamber, apparently waiting for gladiatorial combat. I'm stuck in a room with Azrael, and I assume that the rest of our group is also being held in other rooms.

Turns out we were forced to participate in a tournament. Kavha, Azm and Nietzsche lost their fights - I didn't get to see them, but they didn't seem to take long. Crina won her fight, and Azrael and I agreed that I should win our fight. I then fought a warforged paladin of Bahamut. He fought well, and I barely defeated him. Unfortunately, Crina lost her fight against a monk. That left me fighting a half-orc and the monk. Luckily they focused on each other, and I only had to fight the half-orc. The monk had weakened him, but even then he wasn't easy to beat. Afterwards they informed me that I'm supposed to defeat some sort of volcano monster that comes every so often. I'm not sure if I'm going to stick around to do that. I'll have to discuss it with the group.

Afterwards we all went to the tavern, though we hardly saw each other. Azrael, Nietzsche and the monk - Miri - went upstairs for a short time, then Azrael came back looking very smug. I don't want to think about what happened up there. Had a nice conversation with Crina.

Notes: Where did Kavha get that strange tub?
Will have to approach the warforged - apparently named Zealot - and the half-orc - Kevril - about aiding us in the battle against the volcano beast if we decide to stay. They both seem useful in a fight. I would ask Miri too, but I think I'll let Azrael or Nietzsche approach her.

WWE Raw 2/6/2012

Tonight on Raw: Undertaker and Jericho! Need I say more?

I love that promo! The first thing that happens this week (after the recap of Undertaker's return) is Triple H's entrance. He explains that he had intended to fire He of the Overly Long Title, and he spends a little bit to insulting Johnny Ace. Sadly, the Board of Directors has asked Triple H not to make a decision until they review it. Thankfully he quickly moves on to talk about the Undertaker returning last week. He describes exactly how it feels when the Undertaker walks to the ring, and I find myself agreeing with everything he's saying. And then HHH says that he feels sorry for Taker, and plays a short montage of the Undertaker being awesome – it looked like a series a clips from the Streak. He then plays a few clips of the aftermath of last year's match, where Undertaker was unable to walk away from the ring, which he says is not how he wants to remember him. Triple H turns down the rematch to a huge negative reaction. He quotes Lovecraft, but doesn't understand what the quote means at all. His music starts, but cuts out right as he goes to leave the ring. The lights go out, the crowd goes wild, and the titantron shows the Undertaker watching footage of last year's match. This is an awesome promo. 'Taker barely says anything, and he doesn't need to. I'm starting to like this – it's a great set up. WWE seems to be learning how to build stories slowly – first they let Jericho to come back for over a month and only say a single sentence, and now they're doing something similar with the Undertaker.

Big Show comes out and they show the footage of him running over AJ again. He'll be facing Daniel Bryan in what I believe is a non-title match. I'm really enjoying him as a heel. AJ comes out to accompany him, still wearing a neck brace. This really feels like Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth, which is good. And oddly, this whole angle has Michael Cole supporting a face, which is a refreshing change. Big Show dominates the early portion of the match.

We come back from break to show Big Show regain control of the match, after having dominated for the entire break. Big Show goes for a chokeslam, which Bryan counters into a sleeper hold. Big Show throws him off, but Bryan is able to turn the match around. He goes to the top rope, but Big Show scares him off with the threat of a big right hand. AJ stands between Bryan and Big Show outside the ring, and eventually almost gets sandwiched between Big Show and the steel steps. Bryan uses AJ as a human shield and loses due to countout as he walks AJ away. Bryan gets a microphone and claims that the fact that Big Show was able to stop this time proves that he could have stopped last time. This is a good promo, and a good angle for Bryan.

After the match, they claim that Jericho is going to break his silence, and announce a six-man match where the winner will enter the Elimination Chamber last.

When we come back, there's a bit of a promo for a Nascar driver and... I don't care at all. John Cena gets to start the Daytona 500, and I struggle to care. It is interesting to note that he'll be done with his feud with Kane at that point, because it's after Elimination Chamber. It's kind of strange how it's basically an after thought of a pay-per-view, and yet it's amazingly important. This is a good promo – my favorite picture from any Elimination Chamber is Edge biting the chains. They talk about the six-pack challenge again. Punk won't win, but I'm not sure who will win. Possibly Jericho, maybe the Miz if they're going to try and push him at all, but I doubt that. From what I've heard, he's not doing well backstage.

Huzzah, David Otunga comes out. He'll be lost if Laurinitis loses his job. He talks up Johnny Ace, and then gets put in a match starting immediately against Sheamus. Watching them circle is amusing – they look like exact opposites – spiky red hair vs. black buzz cut, suit vs. trunks, black vs. white... The suit gets torn off fairly quickly. Otunga only briefly gets any sort of advantage before meeting Sheamus's foot in the form of a Brogue Kick, giving Sheamus the win. Otunga's a pretty good wrestler, but he doesn't have great mic skills yet.

We come back from break to be greeted by Chris Jericho! The moment he starts talking I get excited, and his new character seems fantastic. He insults everyone by calling them wannabes, and focuses in on CM Punk for claiming to be the best in the world. I can't recap what he says, because it's so good and I could never do it justice. CM Punk interrupts him (wearing a nifty new t-shirt) to confront him, and doesn't say a word, simply holding up his title. In doing that, he proves that he's as good as Jericho, able to get as big a reaction without saying a word. This is going to be the best feud going into Wrestlemania.

Not sure if I like Wade Barrett's new theme music. It feels too light for him. He's part of a tag match, teaming with Cody Rhodes against the Great Khali and Randy Orton. They seem to be building some heat between Khali and Orton – Orton slaps Khali's chest to tag him in, and Khali returns the favor, nearly knocking Orton off the apron. There's some good back and forth when Orton is in the ring, but Khali's contributions are boring at best. Orton starts hulking out, but Khali tags himself in and picks up the win by chopping Cody Rhodes in the face as he goes for the beautiful disaster. Khali and Orton have a brief confrontation after the match, leading to Khali getting an awkward looking RKO.

I enjoy this Cena promo and the matching one for the Rock. There isn't a whole lot to say about it, except that I hope Cena wins.

Time for a bathroom break – an eight diva tag match. Eve, Tamina, Alicia Fox and Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix, Natalya and the Bellas. The brief interview that they show with Beth Phoenix makes it clear that she's going to feud with Kharma. The only amusing part of the early part of the match was when Beth tagged a Bella by slapping her breast. Tamina gets gets a Superfly Splash for the win in a match that lasted roughly two minutes.

We get a backstage segment between Triple H and John Laurinitis (blah blah blah). Johnny Ace reveals that Shawn Michaels will be on Raw next week, which is enormously exciting. They also reveal that Kane and Cena will be in an ambulance match at EC. Triple H makes a few decent jokes before we go to commercial. Josh Matthews asks Laurinitis a few questions after they come back from the break.

Now we get to the main event – R-Truth, CM Punk, the Miz, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston and Chris Jericho in a six-pack challenge to determine the last entrant in the WWE Championship Elimination Chamber match. The match starts with everyone except CM Punk beating on Jericho. Punk then goes for a sneaky win on the Miz, leading to a general brawl. There looks to have been a botch when R-Truth goes to the outside of the ring – Miz looked like he was supposed to catch Truth but wasn't in the right position.

When we come back to the match, it's confirmed that R-Truth was injured – it looks like he got whiplash and possibly a concussion. The match goes on, with the match getting mostly cleared, leaving only Punk and Jericho in the ring. They face off, but Miz and Ziggler interrupt them before anything happens. Miz and Jericho knock each other out, leaving Ziggler and Punk to brawl. This leads to an assisted superplex by Punk on Ziggler, almost leading to a double 3-count. Jericho brawls with Miz, leading to Miz almost landing a Showstopper on Jericho, interrupted by Kofi getting a Trouble in Paradise on the Miz. We get a period where Kofi and Jericho are alone in the ring, and they work very well together. Jericho nearly lands a Lionsault, which I didn't think he would be able to pull of anymore. Punk lands a GTS on Ziggler for a near fall, but Jericho pulls him off, throwing him over the announce table and pinning Ziggler for the win. Jericho grabs the WWE Championship belt and sits in the center of the ring, imitating Punk.

We go backstage to see Kane tormenting Eve, promising that Cena will embrace the hate soon and threatening that something bad will happen to her if he doesn't embrace it soon.

A good episode, though the last bit with Kane was rather lame. Jericho proved why he's the best in the world at everything he does, while Undertaker makes an impact without actually appearing.

Belfire's Journal

I've been playing in a game of DnD 4e for the past several weeks with my HLP Tom, and I've decided to write my character's journal.

The party (with some illustrations by Tom, to be updated as he completes more):
Belfire Duskwalker: Elf Assassin, my character! He's stealthy and likes isolating enemies so he can beat on them. He works for the Raven Queen, and has several secrets that will come out eventually.
Crina: Half-Elf Shaman, she focuses mostly on healing abilities.
Azm: Warforged Slayer, he is based around his melee basic attacks. He's also a massive racist that hates everyone except Khava because of the racism.
Khava: Dragonborn Warlord, she has a lot of abilities that grant basic attacks to her allies.
Azrael: Deva Chaos Sorceror, he has some good ranged attacks.
Nietzsche: Tiefling Warlock, she uses her Dark Pact to deal massive damage to single targets.

Those of you who know stuff about 4e will realize something - our party is horribly unbalanced. We have 4 strikers and 2 leaders, and thus don't have much in the way of longevity. So far we've only been able to do at most two encounters before taking a long rest, and it seems like it won't be long before one of us will die.

This is the initial description we were given (with some minor spelling corrections):
You wake up in a dank cell. It is dark, you don't know where you are. You look around and see several more adventurers who seem to be in the same situation. All of you look confused. Though the detail are slightly different the only thing you remember is an eruption and the ground opening with an explosion of demons coming out of the ground. In an futile attempt to save your town you rose your weapon up simply to be flung into a void that was created under your boots.

In any case, read on after the jump to discover what Belfire thinks of all these shenanigans!

WWE Raw 1/30/2012

Tonight on Raw: fallout from the Royal Rumble, and the best final 15 minutes of the year.

After a really good Royal Rumble, we start off Raw with John Laurinitis (The Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and Interim General Manager of Monday Night Raw) talking about how he's going to keep his job and announcing the Raw Elimination Chamber match. CM Punk interrupts him to do some insulting, including a great rendition of the “na-na-na-na hey hey hey goodbye” song. Then Daniel Bryan comes out to cement his heel turn by insulting CM Punk, and now Bryan is saying that he's a role model – shades of the Straight Edge Society?

Next to the ring is Sheamus, the winner of the Royal Rumble. He starts out by stating a few facts (Both Daniel Bryan and Punk have to defend their belts at Elimination Chamber, Johnny could get fired, Sheamus gets to main event Wrestlemania) and follows it up with a fantastic Irish saying.

As the Orton vs. Ziggler match gets set up, we start with Josh Matthews interviewing Wade Barrett in a sky box. Barrett claims that he's going to end Orton's career Friday on Smackdown. As the match goes on, they go back to Josh and Barrett several times. Dolph is going to be a main eventer before the end of the year. He will probably get an undercard match at Wrestlemania, and will be main eventing pay-per-views soon after. This is a mostly standard match, though Dolph gets a good amount of offense in before Randy Orton hits the RKO for the win.

When we come back we see Johnny Ace trying to make friends, leading to William Regal being amazing. Seriously, why isn't he on all the time?

Somebody call my momma! Brodus has a little bit of trouble taking his pants off, and Tyler Reks actually puts on a good fight, but the outcome is never in doubt. After the match we get a brief segment between CM Punk and Daniel Bryan, where Bryan is clearly being inspired by Punk's Straight Edge Society.

Their next match is CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan. They start out respectfully, shaking hands to start the match, with Bryan taking the offensive early on. The action goes out of the ring, with Punk barely making it back in before the ten count. Daniel Bryan is back in control when we return from the break, but Punk starts to turn it around with a Huracanrana from the turnbuckle. Bryan escapes a GTS by going to the outside, then intercepts a suicide dive with an upper cut, then going to the top rope for a drop kick followed by a two count. We get some fantastic counters, showcasing why these two are the champions. However, the match ends when Jericho interferes, attacking Bryan before performing a Codebreaker on Punk, giving Daniel Bryan a win by DQ. It looks like they're going to have the Jericho/Punk feud after all.

Mike Tyson is the next celebrity inductee to the WWE Hall of Fame. He deserves it more than some who have been. Drew Carrey comes to mind... What a travesty.

R-Truth joins the commentary team for the Kofi Kingston vs. the Miz. I love Kofi's new Riddler inspired trunks. Miz makes fun of Kofi's awesome handstand at the Rumble. This isn't a bad match, and R-Truth does a good job on commentary. They seem to have been struggling with what to do with Kofi for a while now. Hopefully the fact that he's going to be in the Elimination Chamber means they're going to push him. Kofi gets the win after hitting the Miz with a Trouble In Paradise. Kofi could be one of the top faces in the company. After the match, it looks like John Laurinitis (The Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and Interim General Manager of Monday Night Raw) is starting to get a little nervous.

Yay, a Divas match. Eve vs. Beth Phoenix for the championship. Eve is actually showing some of the emotional fallout fro Kane's attack on Zack Ryder last night. Beth squashes Eve pretty quickly, then Kane comes on the Titantron to taunt Eve and blame Cena for Ryder's injuries. Kane then essentially appears out of nowhere, leading to Cena coming out to come to Eve's defence. We get a nice brawl, but I hope they'll get a hardcore match at Elimination Chamber. Cena is clearly starting to embrace the hate as he uses the steel steps on Kane and is clearly enjoying it. Kane retreats, giving Cena his first victory in this feud.

Finally we get Triple H coming out to do performance review on Johnny Ace. HHH really knows how to work a crowd, and he shows it off here. Laurinitis gets some amazing heat when he's apologizing. I could barely hear what he was saying. And... Triple H almost starts his own Kiss My Ass club.

And then, while Triple H is about to fire Laurinitis... The bell tolls for him. And Undertaker comes out. He walks out to the ring, getting the biggest cheers I've heard in a long time, and circles Triple H. They have a five minute staredown, then Triple H pats Undertaker on the shoulder and walks out. I think I can see the story now – Undertaker is going to have to goad Triple H into having a match at Wrestlemania.

Before the last 15 minutes I would have said this was a good episode, but the fact that Undertaker returned makes this excellent.