Game of Thrones: Winter is Coming

Before I start this, I'll say what I know about this series.

-It's epic fantasy

-It has political machinations (Come on, Game of Thrones! Could it be more obvious?)

-Almost everyone is scum.

And that's pretty much it! I believe a bunch of my friends love it, but I can't be sure. So... without further ado, episode 1 of Game of Thrones: Winter is Coming.

Don't worry if you missed the episode title, because they repeat it FIVE MILLION TIMES. It got kind of irritating. But really, that's a minor thing, and the title drop has always been a pet peeve of mine, so let's ignore that and get to what I really thought.

It opened with... a scout or something, as he found a whole bunch of completely butchered bodies, along with a little girl impaled on a tree. Not creepy at all, especially when it is shown that the body parts are laid out in some kind of pattern. It looks kind of like the symbol of Phyrexia from MTG, but I think I'm seeing that symbol everywhere, so I actually have no idea what it is.

He goes back and reports it to his asshole commander, who insists on going to see it himself and... well, he's not very Genre Savvy, is he? The bodies are all gone, which is super creepy. And then... ZOMBIE LITTLE GIRL! And some sort of demon guy? His eyes seemed to be glowing. I'm not entirely sure what's going on, but this got me interested, at the very least.

We get introduced to the characters, and none of them made much of an impact initially - in fact, I have to refer to wikipedia to get their names. I do like Sean Bean's character, Eddard "Ned" Stark (what kind of name is Eddard, and how is Ned a nickname from that?) His comment after the execution was something that I find admirable, and reveals a lot about his character: "The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword." It shows his devotion to duty, which is a trait I generally like in a character.

The show is clearly adept at establishing personalities quickly, even if it isn't so good at making me remember their names. Arya is adorable, and is clearly a tomboy. Bran is... well, he's 10, and a boy. His habit of climbing everything reminds me of myself at that age. Jon Snow is the bastard who has nobility and honor that his half-brothers lack. I have less of a grasp on Robb, who is the oldest son, and Catelyn, Eddard's wife, but it is only the first episode. And Sansa is... well, she seems like kind of a bitch.

The king's introduction scene is almost painfully obvious how it's going to end up from the moment it starts, though he and Eddard do have a relationship that I like - the Vitriolic Best Buds thing. His wife, on the other hand... well, at this point she's essentially a non-entity, though that changes later. Their son looks like the shallow pretty boy (he almost looks like Draco Malfoy, actually) and the other guy... was that Jaime? I'm confused now, I have no idea who anyone is. Oh, and there's a character who's called the Imp, and I have no idea how to feel about him right now. He's definitely an asshole and a lecher, but he is viewed as less than a man, so we'll see. I may feel more charitable to him at the moment because of the other main characters we meet shortly.

His name is Viserys, and he creeps me out! The pale skin with platinum blonde hair looks eerie to begin with, but his opening scene is detestable. He strips his sister (!) to admire her body (!!) and fondles her (!!!!!!). His sister, Daenerys, looks almost as creeped out as I feel, and I kind of feel bad for her. And then we find out he's marrying her off to a savage (I'll get to that) for political gain, which is... Well, I really hope he dies in a horrible way. He's the type of scumbag who will do anything for his own gain.

The man she's being married to is Khal Drogo, a warlord of the Dothraki. They are viewed as savages by everyone else, which is something that really bothers me. Whenever an entire people is written off as savages and implied to be subhuman, it sets off warning bells, and this episode doesn't do a whole lot to lessen the feeling of unease I have. The wedding seems to go out of its way to prove that the Dothraki are savages. One of the things that doesn't make any sense to me is the statement that a wedding is considered dull unless there are at least three deaths. WHAT. That seems counter-productive.

So, finally, plot happens. I guess the King's old Hand (his right-hand man, I guess) was murdered, and so Eddard is going to take the position. So there's drama there. More importantly, while Bran is climbing a tower, he comes across two people having sex! It appears that it's Cersei, the queen, and her twin brother Jaime. WTF. That's gross enough as it stands, but then Jaime pushes Bran off the tower! WHAT! And then the episode ends, with Bran falling off the tower.

Final thoughts: I have no idea what to think about this show. I'll watch the next episode, and I'll try to get up my thoughts on it sooner next time. I'm definitely going to give this show a chance, but I don't yet know if I'll like it.

NOTES:

• I want a dire wolf puppy!
• Was the sheath Eddard used for that great sword a bear?
• It was pretty obvious that the White Walkers are just what they call zombies.
• The wolf helmet that one of the guys with the King was wearing looked dumb.
• "It's not hunting if you pay for it." ZING