Word life! This is basic Thuganomics. We get some rhymes from Cena, and they're pretty awesome. I'm surprised they let him swear (though they obviously censored it) and it was highly amusing.
I love that Vickie's “EXCUSE ME!” interrupted Jerry Lawler. She has a nice couple lines about Daylight Savings Time to introduce Dolph Ziggler. Apparently the first match is Ziggler vs. Sheamus. I kind of like Ziggler's new trunks – it suits him. He is a fantastic wrestler, one of the best in the company – the only heel that matches him is Cody Rhodes.
After Sheamus tosses Ziggler out of the ring, Ziggler crawls under the ring to attack a distracted Sheamus from behind. It's a nice heel tactic. Daniel Bryan and AJ are watching from a skybox, and Bryan claims that he wasn't rude to AJ Friday when he told her to shut up. She doesn't look happy, so maybe she'll turn on him soon? Back to the match, does anyone remember the last time Sheamus actually pulled of the Celtic Cross Powerbomb? It's been countered a lot lately. This has turned into a great match, lasting a surprisingly long time. Sheamus ends up winning off a surprise Brogue Kick. Before they go to commercial, they say that the board of directors finally announced the Team Laurinitis vs. Team Long match at Wrestlemania. Disappointing, but unsurprising.
After the commercial is a mixed tag match. Santino and Aksana vs. Otunga and... Nevermind, Laurinitis changed it to a handicap match with Mark Henry teaming with Otunga. Teddy Long comes out to escort Aksana out, and Henry hits Santino from behind to knock him out for the win. As Henry and Otunga beat on Santino, Kofi and R-Truth come out to help, though they get demolished without being able to put up any sort of offensive. Laurinitis then adds Mark Henry to his team for Wrestlemania.
There's a fairly sad promo after the commercial break, showing that the story between Eve and Ryder is continuing. It's kind of sad. It's followed by a much better promo between the Miz, Laurinitis and guest host James Roday (star of Psych). It's quite fun.
The next match is the return of the Funkasaurus, Brodus Clay! I don't care at all about Jinder Mahal, his opponent – I'm just excited Brodus is back. Mahal gets the early offensive, but it turns into a squash match pretty quickly.
HBK comes out after the break (after they point out that some rapper is in the audience, which I don't at all care about). He seems a bit subdued, though the crowd starts chanting regardless. He calls out the Undertaker, and there is a noticeable pause between him doing that and 'Taker's entrance music starting. I don't think it means anything, and the promo between HBK and Undertaker is fantastic. 'Taker threatens HBK, saying that if the match isn't called fairly, that he will end him.
James Roday announces the next match – The Miz vs. CM Punk. This is a short, but entertaining match, ending when Miz taps to the Anaconda Vise. Jericho gets a great promo, telling Punk that he's destined to be an alcoholic like his father. I don't know if that's true or not, but Punk really seems affected by it. The only thing that could have made that better was if the sad Hulk music played as Punk walked out.
Next is Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger. Swagger's hair looks really weird. It's not a bad match, though the result is obvious from the beginning. Orton wins, and Kane's pyrotechnics go off, though Kane doesn't enter.
Christian's returning Friday! Finally!
Rock comes out for the final segment, and starts with his regular schtick – the catchphrases, chants and pandering to the crowd. The song is better than I expected, though I think Cena's rap was better. I'm disappointed that Rock goes directly to the gay jokes and calling Cena a woman. And then he goes into old nerd jokes about Cena's fans. And then he has a joke about sleeping with Cena's mom. I really wish he had some new material – these are all old jokes. When they do their own version of We Will Rock You, Rock's performance doesn't impress.
Final thoughts: Jericho, Undertaker and HBK had great promos, while the Rock and Cena's were enjoyable. A number of enjoyable matches make this a good Raw, though not the best.
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