WWE Raw 4/30/2012

The brief video package from Extreme Rules is great. After that, Laurinitis starts out Raw by saying how much better everything is because of him. He introduces Lesnar, but HHH interrupts him, and the crowd goes wild! I love Triple H so much – despite all the shit he's done backstage, he's a phenomenal performer. He dismantles everything that Laurinitis promised Lesnar last week, saying that Laurinitis overstepped his bounds. This is fantastic, and everytime HHH says “Brock” I think he's going to say “brah.” It's also very enjoyable when HHH tells Laurinitis to shut up, but he gets distracted long enough for Brock to attack him from behind, eventually getting him in a Kimura. The midcard faces (Big Show, R-Truth and Kofi) plus Sheamus come to his rescue, and they're selling it like Triple H broke his arm. After the break, it's revealed that Lesnar may have dislocated his elbow.

Tonight they're going to determine the number one contender to the WWE Champion in a beat the clock challenge. The first match is Santino vs. The Miz, whose jacket is awesome – it looks like it's inspired by Ezio Auditore. I like the beat the clock challenges, it inverts the normal amount of time the superstars usually get – the midcarders get longer than the main eventers. This is a good match, with the Miz setting the time to beat at 4:18.

The next match is a triple threat match for the Divas championship, between the Bellas and Layla. Layla dropkicks the Bellas, then pins one of them in about five seconds. It looks like the length of Divas matches is back to normal. They don't waste any time before introducing Jericho for his Beat the Clock match. Not much happened during that segment. After the break we get to see that Jericho is facing Big Show. This is a good match, mostly on Jericho's side, though Big Show puts Jericho in an impressive small package. Big Show goes for the WMD, which Jericho dodges and goes for the Codebreaker, which is countered and Jericho gets tossed out of the ring, pulling Big Show with him. Jericho wins by ten count, but it's unclear if he beat the time. After the break they show that Jericho just barely didn't make it in time, and the Miz is still the time to beat.

Next match is Brodus Clay, whose entrance is starting to drag on a bit too much, against JTG, who I forgot existed. This is not part of the Beat the Clock challenge. JTG has a brief moment after he hits a low blow and then later after he knocks him down at the knee, but Brodus stays in control for the most part. Brodus wins off a big splash. They then show the Cena video package from Extreme Rules, followed by a recap of Lesnar attacking HHH. There's a segment between Eve and Laurinitis, with Eve saying that Laurinitis needs to be a leader. He then says that he knows who Cena's next opponent will be, saying that Cena won't like it.

Next is another Beat the Clock match, this time with Randy Orton facing Jack Swagger. Clearly Orton is going to win, the question is how fast he does it. Swagger does get an impressive distance on a Swagger Bomb, and there is some very good back and forth. I'm shocked when Swagger counters the RKO into a Ankle Lock, but Orton gets out of it and hits an RKO for the win, setting the new time as 4:16.

Up next is Epico and Primo vs. R-Truth and Kofi for the Tag Team Championship. They couldn't have found time for a Tag Team Championship match at Extreme Rules? I do enjoy how Primo mimes punting Little Jimmy, leading to R-Truth going berserk on him and gaining control. The commentary reveals how much they care about the match – instead of talking about the match, they talk about how the Bellas were fired and Triple H's arm is broken. Epico and Primo are in control on R-Truth after the commercials, but Kofi gets tagged in, eventually winning off a Trouble in Paradise. Backstage after the commercials, Epico, Primo and Rosa agree to be represented by Abraham Washington.

I don't want to watch this long of a match between Kane and Khali. Kane can pull it off, but Khali will get boring fast. They run out the time, and the crowd starts booing. They are clearly as impressed as I am.

The final Beat the Clock match is Daniel Bryan vs... Jerry Lawler. Seriously? The crowd is as bored with this as I am, hardly making any noise at all. Lawler is doing a very good job, and it's clear why he used to be one of the best in the world, but I'm pretty sure it's Bryan who's going to win. I'm not sad about this, as Bryan and Punk are amazing together. Unsurprisingly, Bryan gets Lawler into the Yes Lock for the win and will face Punk for the WWE Championship at Over the Limit in three weeks.

Cena comes out after the break to almost universal applause and with his arm in a sling. He gets a brief promo along the same lines as his promos against The Rock. Laurinitis comes out, claiming that he was trying to motivate Cena when he was calling Brock the new face of the company. Cena's great in this promo, leading up to Laurinitis introducing Lord Tensai as his opponent at Over the Limit, but then surprising us by hit Cena with a mic and announcing himself as Cena's next opponent. They then finish the episode by beating on Cena's bad arm.

WWE Raw 4/23/2012

Tonight: a contract signing and the worst moonwalk ever!

To start this three hour edition of Raw, there's Teddy Long introducing Cena, who has a new Titantron to match his new shirt. A whole lot of green. It looks like they're starting the show with the contract signing between him and Brock Lesnar. At least they're getting it out of the way quickly, as Teddy Long introduces Lesnar. Instead Laurinitis comes out, saying that Lesnar isn't there yet and tells Teddy to tell Cena to get out of the ring. As he continues talking, he's interrupted by the sweetest sound of all: you think you know me. Edge is there, and I am shocked. He explains that he's there to talk to John Cena – not as he is now, but as he was when they were rivals. He is pushing Cena because he says that he has to beat Lesnar, because Lesnar doesn't care about the business, while it's been both Edge and Cena's life since childhood. This is why Edge is one of the best and why he definitely deserves to be in the Hall of Fame.

After the break, we get the first match of the night: Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston. They need to decide how they're going to use Kofi – he was getting a solid push for a while, but he's back to jobbing for the main eventers. He does have a very strong showing here, taking control of the match and having a great move where he aborts a suicide dive by grabbing the ropes. Jericho gains control after hitting Kofi in the eyes. Kofi briefly regains control for a near fall, but Jericho has a great counter. Jericho tries to dive on Kofi in the corner, but gets thrown out of the ring for his trouble, followed by a dive from Kofi. There's some more great back and forth after the commercial, culminating in a Boom Drop. Instead of going for a cover, he goes for a Trouble In Paradise, which Jericho counters, leading to a huge Codebreaker and the Walls of Jericho for the win. Jericho then has a brief promo.

There's a segment after the break where Eve becomes Johnny Ace's secretary. Then they show the Lesnar video, which is good as far as these packages go. This is a good character for Lesnar – he's not very skilled on the mic, so treating it like a business and showing disdain for Cena is a good way to go.

They then show the gift that Jericho gave Punk which is, predictably, liquor. Punk then passes it on to Josh atthews, who seems happy to take it off his hands.

Next match is R-Truth vs. Lord Tensai. I really want to be interested in Tensai, but he just isn't very interesting. The WWE doesn't need another Monster Heel. I'm also not a fan of the hissing he does during the match. It's not intimidating, just annoying.

Kane gets some mic time before the next match, leading to Orton threatening Paul Bearer. Kane then says he doesn't care what happens to Paul, and starts to leave when Orton attacks him and beats him with a pipe. A good segment, the only bad thing is that Paul Bearer didn't get a chance to speak.

After the break, Alex Riley leads Jericho to CM Punk's locker room, where Punk is apparently drinking. Don't know how I feel about that, I was hoping that Punk would smash that bottle over Jericho's head.

The next match is Cody Rhodes and Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show and Khali. It starts with Cody and Khali in the ring, with Khali starting out in control. Rhodes and Del Rio do a good job of selling for Khali, despite the fact that he can barely move. After the match Big Show gets tagged in, and Ricardo interferes almost causing him to be counted out. Cody Rhodes and Alberto tag out repeatedly, wearing Big Show down until Rhodes gets Big Show in a figure four leglock. Big Show slaps his way out, then kicks out of a near fall. Del Rio abandons Rhodes, leading to Khali getting the head chop followed by Big Show's choke slam for the win.

Right after the break, Jericho tries to convince Laurinitis to strip CM Punk of his belt because he was drinking. Laurinitis agrees to submit him to a field sobriety test. Lesnar then finally arrives, and attacks Josh Matthews, who was trying to interview him.

The next match is for the Divas Championship, between a Bella and Beth Phoenix. Eve comes out to announce it will be a “Lumberjill” match. Whichever Bella is in there does a decent job, but Beth Phoenix is simply a better wrestler – it's just not believable for either of the Bellas to win. After Nikki gets thrown out, Beth follows and lands badly, hurting her ankle. After she gets thrown back in, Nikki rolls her up for the win, further degrading the Divas Championship.

Afterwards, we get to see Punk pretend to be drunk and do a pretty bad job of it. Following the break, Jericho comes out allegedly to make sure Teddy Long does it correctly. When Punk is introduced, he comes out pretending to be drunk again. He actually is doing a good imitation this time – he's probably had plenty of experience watching his friends get drunk. Possibly the most amusing part is where he hands his mic to a cop so he can pose on the ring post, though him putting the gum on the ring post is hilarious. CM Drunk is kind of funny. He is almost forced to give up his title, but Punk reveals he was faking it the entire time and does the backwards alphabet and walking the line easily. He then jumps Jericho, kicking his ass all the way up the ramp.

The next match is Sheamus vs. Mark Henry, with Daniel Bryan as special ref. Daniel Bryan spends most of the match trying to tempt Sheamus into punching him. This distracts him long enough for Mark Henry to knock him down so Bryan can do a fast count to give him the win. After the match Sheamus attacks Bryan after he takes off the ref shirt, leading to the both getting back in the ring. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Henry, and then Bryan gets Sheamus into the Yes Lock. After the break Sheamus briefly talks about how Daniel Bryan should be praying before their match Sunday.

Next up is Epico and Primo vs Zack Ryder and Santino. It's good that they're all getting screen time, and this is a decent match, if a bit short. Santino gets his Five Moves in, with a great recovery after getting hit by a drop kick to respond with a Cobra for the win. Following the break, we find Kane going into the freezer to save Paul Bearer. Except that he just takes the tape off his mouth, then rolls him right back into the freezer. Then we see Epico and Primo talk to AW, who offers the some advice.

Next match is Brodus Clay and Hornswoggle vs. American Perfection. I feel bad for the live audience. Did they have to watch Brodus and Hornswoggle dance through the entire commercial break? Ziggler and Hornswoggle start off the match – Hornswoggle gets a huracanrana on Ziggler, giving him time to tag in Brodus. He then takes control, manhandling Ziggler and Swagger. Vickie slaps Brodus, causing American Perfection to get disqualified. It all ends with Hornswoggle biting Vickie on the ass. That's disappointing, to say the least.

Finally we get to the contract signing. Laurinitis and Lesnar come out, then Cena doesn't come out when his theme plays. Because Cena doesn't come out, Lesnar starts making demands of Laurinitis. Lesnar is really being a bully this time, and that's really getting played up here. Oddly enough, I actually feel some sympathy for Laurinitis here. He gets a lot less sympathy from me when he caves in and agrees to his ridiculous list of demands. Cena finally comes out after Brock signs the Extreme Rules contract. He acts very skittish, wrapping his chain around his knuckles and hesitating about signing the contract. Cena seems to have lost his confidence, looking like he's afraid of Lesnar.

Another good episode of Raw, with a surprisingly good contract signing.

WWE Raw 4/16/2012

Tonight on Raw: I don't have the presence of mind to summarize right now!

Wow, Brock Lesnar already made it to the opening! We start out with what should be the main event – CM Punk vs Mark Henry, No DQ, No count out for the WWE Championship. Mark Henry gets the jobber's entrance – starting in the ring, no music or anything. It follows the same story as the previous two weeks – Punk struggling to get control, only for Henry to do a big move. They go out of the ring fairly early, taking advantage of the fact that there are no count outs. The crowd is great, really helping the feel of the match. Punk goes to the top rope, which Henry counters to a World's Strongest Slam, which is countered to a drop kick. Punk manages to get a chair drop off the top rope for the pin.

Jericho comes on the titantron, announcing that he has a title shot at Extreme Rules in a Chicago Street Fight. He then shows footage of Punk going into a pub, as Jericho continues to say that he's going to turn Punk into an alcoholic.

After the break we get R-Truth as Sherlock, talking to Little Jimmy Watson and saying his job is to find Teddy Long a job. Santino goes through an act of wearing a number of football shirts, going through a number of non-local (to London, where Raw is tonight) teams before getting to England and getting cheered. The crowd clearly enjoyed it. He's facing Otunga for the US Championship. Otunga counters Santino's split dodge, then gets a two count. Then Santino uses that dodge successfully, going into his Five Moves and hitting the Cobra for the win.

Lord Tensai has a brief promo, saying that he should be the one that we should fear. After the commercial is Lesnar's promo, where he reveals that his match against Cena is going to be a Hardcore match. After that is Kane vs. Zack Ryder. Kane kicks Ryder off the apron before the bell even rings, not allowing Ryder to catch a breath at all. Ryder gets in the ring just to get a Chokeslam from Hell. Kane then grabs a mic while Ryder's out, ignoring Ryder in favor of insulting Randy Orton.

There's a great promo between Daniel Bryan, AJ and Kofi Kingston in which Bryan renames the Lebelle lock to the Yes Lock. Because when the ref asks if you want to submit, that's what you'll say.

Cena comes out to his usual reaction along with the dueling chants. He says that he is scared, but he will fight regardless. I like this new direction for Cena – the underdog who will fight no matter the odds. Laurinitis comes out, and I can barely here his first few lines because of the deafening boos from the crowd. He stumbles over a line, but he's still a great heel. He's not perfect, and isn't at Vince McMahon's level yet, but he could get there.

After the break, they show Hornswoggle reading a book when Truth comes out of a secret door next to him. This is pretty good. This is followed by Bryan vs. Kingston. Bryan gains control early, and just wears down Kingston for most of the match. At one point he simply stands on Kingston's throat, and it looks incredibly painful. Kofi hits the Boom Drop, but the follow up Trouble In Paradise is countered. Daniel Bryan eventually locks in the Yes Lock for the win. He puts Kofi in the Yes Lock again after the bell, but Sheamus comes to save him, though Bryan dodges the Brogue Kick.

Somebody call my Mama, the Funkasaurus is here! And he's facing Dolph Ziggler, accompanied by Vickie Guerrero and Jack Swagger as always. Sadly the match is short because the ref catches Swagger interfering, giving Brodus the victory through DQ.

After another visit from R-Holmes, there's Epico and Primo vs. Big Show and Khali. Epico and Primo will have to move twice as much to have an average amount of movement in this match. AW comes out to... well, to watch the match. It looks like he's going to be a new manager, possibly feuding with Vickie Guerrero? E&P try to leave, but Big Show tosses them back in the ring. They hit a simultaneous Chokeslam and Punjabi Plunge for the win.

And now we get the final match, an extreme rules match between John Cena and a mystery opponent. Cena actually gets more cheers than he usually does. Laurinitis comes out to announce that his opponent is Lord Tensai. I'm glad he's getting pushed this quickly. I had started getting bored of his matches already – another monster heel that was only in squash matches. I do find it amusing that his “tattoos” are messed up tonight.

Tensai is pretty dominant early on, tossing Cena around the ring pretty easily. Cena goes for a Five Knuckle Shuffle, which Tensai counters and hits Cena with the backsplash. He moves it into a ground submission, which Cena counters into the STF. Otunga interferes, then Tensai uses the poison mist spray to blind Cena and pin him for the win. I'm disappointed that Tensai didn't go to torture Cena afterwards.

A good episode, though I'm not sure how I feel about Lord Tensai now.

WWE Raw 4/9/2012

Tonight: Lesnar, Tensbert, Jerichohol, CM Drunk.

I am very sad. The new Stooges are going to be guest starring. I am cheered up when Laurinitis comes up, now with his own theme. It's very appropriate. He's out to introduce Brock Lesnar, saying he is the new face of the WWE and will bring legitimacy back to the business. Lesnar gets a lot of heat immediately by thanking Laurinitis for bringing him back, leading to Cena (mostly) getting cheered when he comes out. Cena simply slaps Lesnar, leading to a tackle and a brawl. Everyone comes out to try to stop it, though it doesn't work well. Cena starts bleeding from the mouth, and I'm enjoying this a surprising amount. They have to drag Lesnar out of the ring. This is how you start a feud!

Laurinitis is blaming Teddy Long for not keeping Cena in control, and then Eve comes in to try and talk to him. Up next is Santino and Brodus Clay vs. American Perfection. Santino and Brodus make a fantastic team. Santino and Ziggler start out the match, though they tag out fairly early. Swagger and Santino are in the ring, with Swagger in solid control when he tags in Ziggler. Santino gets the tag, and Brodus crushes Ziggler for the win. After the match we go backstage to Miz trying to talk to Laurinitis, who blows him off. Teddy then brings Cena in, who has a nice brief promo, then insists that he gets put in a match. Laurinitis obliges, putting hi in a match with... Otunga. Yeah, cause he's a threat... Then there's a brief segment of Santino looking for the Stooges.

After the break, he finds Kane. Kane simply stares him down until he retreats. The next match is R-Truth vs. Cody Rhodes. Two great wrestlers, but I'm really hoping that Big Show comes out to taunt Rhodes again. Rhodes hits Truth with an Alabama Slam, and out comes Big Show! He shows him a video of him showing the Wrestlemania clip from last week. Truth hits the Little Jimmy for the win. I'm really enjoying this feud. I hope they do this one more time – recursive embarrassment! A video of him showing a video of him showing a clip! Sadly, next is Santino finding the “Stooges.” It's pretty much as awful as I imagined it would be. The only one who does a decent impression is Curly.

The next match is Lord Tensai facing Yoshi Tatsu. Or, rather, Lord Tensai crushing Yoshi Tatsu. As expected, Tensai takes control immediately. The crowd chants Albert at him, which I find pretty amusing. The ref stops the match, and Tensbert hits Tatsu with the claw. I think that the Tensai gimmick has potential, but there are too many monster heels already. And his gimmick is essentially the Mighty Whitey. It could have led to a fun feud with Yoshi Tatsu, but they'd have to build up Tatsu first, which they clearly aren't willing to do.

After we return there's a recap of the events between Punk and Jericho last week. It's amazing how quickly everyone came out to the ring for Cena and Lesnar, but nobody came out for Jericho and Punk or Tensbert and Tatsu. Punk comes out for his match, but first he comes to the center of the ring and talks about what happened last week. He talks about how proud he is of being straight edge, and how he never wanted anyone to feel sorry for him. I'm glad that they're bringing up the fact that he's straight edge as a positive – he's a better role model than Steve Austin ever was. He brings up the fact that Jericho tapped out at Wrestlemania, which is great. There need to be more submissions in the WWE, which is why I'm a Daniel Bryan fan.

Jericho interrupts him, claiming that Punk is hungover or drunk. He finally calls Punk “CM Drunk” which I've been waiting for. Punk says it's no longer about being the best in the world, and is now about kicking Jericho's ass. Then out comes Mark Henry to face Punk for the title. The match is over moments after the break ends, when Punk hits Henry with one of the monitors on the announce table. Punk goes to hit Henry with it again, but is distracted by Jericho long enough for Henry to regain control and hit two World Strongest Slams. Jericho has two 24 packs of generic looking beer. He pulls out one and opens it, but Punk gets up and tackles Jericho. Jericho hits Punk with a Codebreaker, then starts dumping cans on Punk in the center of the ring. Refs only come out to stop him after he's already dumped six or seven cans on him. Jericho then takes the opportunity to hit Punk with another Codebreaker, knocking Punk out.

Next is Zack Ryder vs. Alberto Del Rio. Del Rio is in control for the early part of the match, until Ryder gets a nice counter in the corner leading to a Broski Boot. Del Rio counters the Rough Ryder and hits the Cross Arm Breaker for the win.

The Stooges come out to a pretty terrible reception. Nobody is happy, and it only gets worse when “Curly” comes out dressed as Hulk Hogan. While he does a surprisingly good impression, the crowd is having none of it. Everyone's happy when Kane comes out. It's pretty good when Kane chokeslams “Curly,” but this segment was a waste of everyone's time.

Lesnar gets a good promo, though his voice still sounds weird coming out of him. It's weirdly high and nasal. It's followed by a fantastic video of HHH vs. Undertaker at Wrestlemania. That is the match that I'm sad I didn't see.

The Cena/Otunga match is accompanied by the deafening duelling Cena chants. Otunga puts up a good fight – I particularly like his elbows off the center of the ropes. Otunga has really improved over the past year. I can almost believe that Otunga could win briefly. However, Cena turns it around to hit the AA and STF. Lesnar then sneaks in and hits a low blow on Cena, followed by an F5.

Overall this was a good episode. The Stooge segments were about the same quality as the Divas match it replaced.

WWE Raw 4/2/2012

Tonight: A lackluster debut, some great matches, and a fantastic return.

The show opens with Johnny Ace addressing the WWE superstars and divas in a fine segment, showing off how his reign will go by setting up Santino vs Ziggler and Swagger for that championship, and Punk vs. Henry for the WWE championship. Punk sets himself up as the new Stone Cold.

First up on the actual show is The Rock, coming out to celebrate after his victory last night. He says it was an honor immediately after dismissing the STF. He also guarantees that this is only the beginning, though I expect he won't be back until next year's Road to Wrestlemania. This is a good promo, and he seems to have gotten some of his old energy back after the match last night, even if he stumbles over his words a few times. He goes onto say that he will be WWE Champion, which is an interesting idea. It's probably what he'll do at next year's Wrestlemania.

Next up is the triple threat match for the US Championship, between Santino, Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler. It starts strong, with Ziggler and Swagger teaming up on Santino and keeping control through the commercial break except for some brief moments where Santino gets control. Ziggler counters a Cobra for the near fall, which leads Swagger and Ziggler to start fighting each other. This allows Santino to hit Swagger with the Cobra for the win. American Perfection go to attack him, only for Brodus Clay to defend him. Santino dances with him, and I desperately want them to become a tag team.

Next is the somewhat anticlimactic introduction of Lord Tensai. They couldn't have had him come in for a storyline? His appearance doesn't have the same shock value as Brodus's return. Still, this is a good enough squash match. Oh yeah, he's squashing Alex Riley. It showcases his personality, refusing to pin and just tormenting Riley. It has the odd effect of getting the crowd to chant for Riley. That wasn't a very successful introduction.

They've been showing recaps of Cena saying that he needed to win. They're really stressing how Cena's lost everything, and I'm curious what's going to happen.

CM Punk vs Mark Henry is up next, and Punk is selling injuries received last night against Jericho. Henry is mostly in control here, though it is clear that it's because Punk is still recovering from last night. The Bryan “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!” chant starts up again, for the third or fourth time tonight. If the WWE was trying to turn both Sheamus and Bryan last night, they may have succeeded. Punk counters a bear hug into a DDT for a near fall. Henry breaks the pin by tossing Punk away, which is my favorite way of breaking a pin. Punk keeps gaining control briefly, only to be stopped by some very good counters from Mark Henry. They come back from the break for another great example of one of Henry's counters.

This crowd is in revolt! They start chanting Daniel Bryan while Henry has Punk in a hold, though they start chanting for Punk before the hold is broken. Punk manages to knock Henry down and hit the Macho Elbow, injuring himself in the process. Punk goes for the bulldog, except Henry counters by throwing Punk out of the ring, leading to a countout and the victory for Henry, though he doesn't gain the title. And then the crowd starts chanting for Lesnar.

Laurinitis says that Punk will be defending the belt more often. Then Jericho comes out and dumps some Jack Daniels on Punk's face. He goes on to smash another bottle on Punk's head. This feud clearly isn't over, that much is clear.

After the break, there's a recap of the “match” between Sheamus and Daniel Bryan, leading to Sheamus entering to deafening boos. Before he gets to say anything, Alberto Del Rio enters to a more favorable reaction. That's... kind of shocking. And the crowd starts chanting “Si! Si! Si! Si!” Del Rio tries to talk, but can barely be heard over the Daniel Bryan chants. Sheamus starts talking, and gets boos again. Del Rio and Sheamus have a match Friday, but Del Rio's mic keeps cutting out. When he goes to switch mics, Sheamus surprises him with a Brogue Kick. That's... really a dick move. Only Orton can get away with doing something like that. They go backstage to Josh Matthews and Daniel Bryan. Matthews asks what he's feeling, and Bryan just stares him down.

More pictures from Wrestlemania, then Cody Rhodes comes out with a new entrance jacket. It looks good. He's facing Kofi Kingston. Rhodes is looking more serious than he has since he ditched the mask. Big Show comes out midway through the match to present an embarrassing Wrestlemania moment for Cody Rhodes. Kofi hits a Trouble in Paradise thanks to the distraction for the win.

It looks like Mark Henry is going to get a manager, which is good because he isn't the best talker. Then Eve comes out, clearly looking to get on Johnny Ace's good side.

The next match is The Miz against Zack Ryder. For those who don't know, The Miz is the one who beat Ryder last night to give Team Johnny the win. Miz starts out taunting Ryder, which Ryder takes advantage of and takes control for a while. Miz counters and gains control briefly, though Ryder retakes control, hitting the Broski Boot for a near fall. The Miz ends up hitting a Skullcrushing Finale for the win.

Cena comes out after the break, with the crowd back to booing him. He teases a heel turn, though he obviously doesn't follow through. He goes on to say that he isn't there to call out The Rock, to be interrupted by a “We want Lesnar” chant. He does invite the Rock to the ring so he can show his respect. He keeps getting interrupted by the crowd, though – with both the “We want Lesnar” and “Daniel Bryan” chants. And then, when Cena invites Rock out again, Brock Lesnar comes out and the crowd goes berserk. Lesnar offers Cena his hand, then hits him with an F5.

Overall, this was a good and very strange show. The crowd was hostile, but the matches were solid.

WWE Raw 3/27/2012

Tonight: The last show before Wrestlemania does its job hyping up the crowd.

Welcome to the final Raw before Wrestlemania! To start off this show, we have Randy Orton and Sheamus vs. Kane and Daniel Bryan. For some reason, Bryan kissing AJ looks really gross. It starts with Bryan and Orton, with Orton taking control for the most part. After Kane and Sheamus tag in, Sheamus gets knocked out and Bryan does his great running dropkick. After we get back from break, Sheamus and Bryan are in the ring, with Bryan in control. Sheamus tags out, and Orton quickly goes into his Five Moves, only prevented from doing the RKO because Kane pulled Bryan out of the ring. This enables them to regain control, leading to Kane being tagged in. Eventually Kane lands a flying clothesline, leading to an attempted chokeslam, countered by a dropkick which leaves both of them on the mat. After Sheamus and Bryan tags in, AJ gets in the ring to distract the ref, allowing Kane to hit a chokeslam so Bryan can pin Sheamus for the victory.

After the break, Michael Cole is in the ring and puts on a Team Johnny shirt. Cole introduces Johnny Ace, who really needs theme music. He then announces that Vickie Guerrero is his flagbearer, then introduces David Otunga, who looks like he's wearing a bib. This leads to Booker T introducing Teddy Long, who brings out Santino and Hornswoggle. There's a great moment in this match when the flags enter the ring, leading to Otunga hitting himself in the face, getting hit by the Cobra and pinned. Teddy pushes Johnny down, and Santino sets up to hit Mr. Excitement with the cobra, but Miz stops him and earns the last spot on Team Johnny.

They're showing highlights of the Rock/Cena feud over the past year, and they're pretty good. They then show a great montage hyping up Undertaker vs. Triple H. The montage ends, going into a recap of the feud leading up to their match, and it reminds me how excellent it has been. Sadly, we then go into a match between Eve and Kelly Kelly.

Kelly Kelly starts a hoeski chant, and the match is as weak as expected. I continue to hate Kelly Kelly's pathetic excuse for a huracanrana, which was preceded by the worst example of hitting the ropes I've ever seen. Then there's the weirdest attempt of a small package pin ever. Ugh.

The next match should be better – Christian vs. CM Punk. Before the match Jericho comes on the Titantron to taunt Punk some more. Tonight he brings his mother into it, saying that she's the only person that's not an embarrassment. He then brings up that Punk's parents weren't married when he was born, saying that makes Punk the “legal definition of a bastard.” Christian sneak attacks Punk before the match, but Punk ends up unloading on Christian, taking out all his frustration on him and doing a variation of the GTS using the steel steps instead of his knee, followed by locking Christian in the Anaconda Vice. The match never even starts, and Punk leaves Christian lying outside the ring. This was a great segment.

Funkasaurus! He finally nails the end of his dance. Curt Hawkins manages to take Brodus down, leading to another decent match. Still a squash, but not entirely one sided, which is nice. Another little recap of the Cena/Rock feud, this one showing Cena's great promo which kicked the feud into high gear.

The next match is Big Show vs. Primo. This is completely a squash match, and Epico tries to attack Big Show after the match only to get a chokeslam. Cody Rhodes comes out for one last promo, saying that choking when it's the most important will be known as pulling a Big Show.

There's a brief segment setting up a future feud between the Bellas, then Eve stringing Zack Ryder along again. Josh Matthews “interviews” Punk, though he doesn't even get to ask anything before Punk goes off and gives a great promo.

Next is Mark Henry vs. Khali, and I don't have high hopes for this match. While they enter, it's announced that Christian has been replaced by Drew McIntyre due to his injury. Not sure why Johnny would add him to the team, considering his losing streak. This is a short match, ending with Mark Henry hitting the World's Strongest Slam on Khali. Teddy gets rolled into the ring, then Johnny calls out his team to stop anyone from helping Teddy. All the members of Team Teddy come out and get destroyed, with Mark Henry going for the WSS on Teddy, but Booker T gets involved to save Teddy and knock out Mark Henry. Thus Booker T joins Team Teddy. They finally have a respected world champion on their team. They still look weak, clearly going into the match as the underdogs.

The final Rock/Cena recap is from last weak, where the Rock supposedly looked strong by Rock Bottoming an already beaten Mark Henry. After the break, I'm kind of sad that they've already announced that Flo Rida will be playing in the Rock, and MGK will be playing in Cena. I like the surprise of the big entrances.

Out comes The Rock! He takes a long time to say anything, simply soaking in the crowd's response and encouraging their chants silently. Not a bad promo, it really builds up his egotistical character. Cena interrupts him, coming out to a mixed but overall positive reaction. Cena's promo revolves around the fact that the Rock is a great trash talker, but it doesn't phase him because everyone trash talks him. I love that he brings up that he's been an active part of the WWE longer than the Rock. This is a fantastic promo, and I would say that was a draw – both men looked strong.

Great show, as should be expected for the last Raw before Wrestlemania. I can't pick any best moments, as it was so strong from beginning to end.

WWE Raw 3/19/2012

Holy crap I'm late! Sorry everyone, I had to work closing shift last night and, unfortunately, the same thing will be happening next week.

First up is CM Punk. His feud with Chris Jericho is fantastic, and getting better all the time. Last week's promo by Jericho was fantastic, and Punk's tonight is great. He puts a lot of emotion into it, and it feels real. Honestly, that's the best you could say for any promo. He essentially rejects Jericho, swearing that he won't allow Jericho to get in his head. “There isn't a person on this planet that should let a past nightmare dictate or cloud their future dreams.” Great line. He then goes on to reveal that his father has beaten his alcoholism.

Jericho then comes on the Titantron via satellite to... apologize? He practically begs for forgiveness at first, and swears to never talk about Punk's father again. And then, like a good heel, brings up his sister's substance abuse problem. Oh man, this is the best feud going into Wrestlemania. Punk looks so angry, and lets loose a whole lot of censored speech. I don't think I've ever seen him look that angry!

Wait, seriously? A new Stooges movie? I.... WHAT?

They come back from commercial with Kane doing his in-ring pyro, set to face the Big Show. Cody Rhodes comes out before the match starts, and seems to be joining the commentary team for this match. We get treated to a great video package of Big Show's Wrestlemania moments. This is a short match – Cody distracts Big Show long enough for Kane to hit a top rope choke slam for the win. Rhodes then hits the Beautiful Disaster on Big Show, then handcuffs Big Show to the ropes. Rhodes puts on boxing gloves and pummels Big Show, who is very unsteady after he's released.

Ha! Otunga has jacket around his shoulders as part of his entrance now. That's great. Santino doesn't get as much of a reaction as I expected him too, but the crowd clearly still likes him. Santino has painted abs, and they proceed to have a pose off. Laurinitis ends up distracting Santino long enough for Otunga to pick up the win. Johnny Ace mocks Santino, prompting Teddy to smack him.

There's a video of someone's head, presumably Lord Tensai? Not sure who that is.

Finally The Rock has come back to Philadelllllphia. We get another history lesson from the Rock, saying that he's wanted to be the greatest since he was a child. He also seems to finally give Cena tiny bit of respect, saying that Cena is the final person he has to beat to be the greatest ever. He gets some nice local applause, then starts saying some of the greatest wrestler's catchphrases, including a surprisingly good Macho Man impression. This is a good promo, though for me it only underscores the fact that he's so much better when he's not live.

Before the commercial, Daniel Bryan enters with AJ, who is looking amazing as always. She's definitely my favorite Diva. Coming back from the break, we get a recap of the end of the Jericho vs. Sheamus match Friday. And then out comes Zack Ryder to face Daniel Bryan! They show a short clip of the Ryder rally earlier in the day, showing that Ryder is trying to get on Team Teddy. This is a solid match – Ryder hits the Broski Boot (which always looks really painful) and goes for the Rough Ryder, but Bryan counters it into the Lebell Lock. Ryder taps out far too quickly – it makes him look weak.

Next up is John Cena and, while the boos are still there, they're not nearly as loud as they were before. Mark Henry comes out, and the camera work for his entrance is as fantastic as always. The close shot from behind really emphasizes his size well. It's damn intimidating. This is a fine match, and Mark Henry gets to show off his strength as he takes control early and just manhandles Cena. I wonder if they changed the story of this match because of the car accident. Cena turns it around, hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle and the Attitude Adjustment for the win. I don't care who you are, but seeing Cena hit Mark Henry with the AA is damn impressive. Moments after the bell, The Rock's music hits and he comes down to the ring. He immediately hits Henry with a Rock Bottom, then leaves. I guess this is supposed to be intimidating? I think Cena was more impressive, though Cole tries to make it seem like the Rock Bottom lifted Henry into the stratosphere.

They show a clip from Extra which leads to the announcement of Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos vs Beth Phoenix and Eve at Wrestlemania. Why should I care about this? And why isn't Beth Phoenix defending her title?

The Miz has a great promo, leading into a match against Sheamus. Miz is aggressive, but it's clear from early on that Sheamus is going to get the win. However, Miz puts up a good fight, making it a very close match. Sheamus ends up winning with a Brogue Kick. They cut to Laurinitis and Otunga watching the match, and Otunga's mug is gaudy!

Orton has a brief but effective promo, but I find myself disappointed that Kane doesn't attack him afterwards. After this they show a clip of Big Show, Stephanie McMahon and David Otunga at a Be A Star event. It's nice, though McMahon has historically been a bitchy bully, and Otunga is currently something of a bully. Vicki Guerrero interrupts Jerry Lawler to announce that Swagger and Ziggler are the newest members of Team Johnny.

This leads into American Perfection vs. Kofi and R-Truth. This is a great match, as both teams work really well together. There's a great moment where Swagger tries to break up a pin and ends up hitting Ziggler instead. American Perfection gets the win because Vickie interferes, pushing Truth's foot off the rope. This leads to a cat fight between Aksana and Vickie afterwards.

I don't know if I can say anything about this next bit. HBK, Undertaker and HHH in the ring at the same time? It's as good as anyone could hope for, and I thoroughly enjoy every second. Triple H draws a lot of similarities between himself and Undertaker, in particular the fact that they've both been in 19 Wrestlemanias, and they're both known for the Hell in a Cell matches. I also love that they won't let each other finish what they're saying. One of the things that strikes me, oddly, is how much shorter Shawn Michaels is than either of them. Looking at them together, you wouldn't believe that he is probably the best wrestler of the three.

Overall, I think this was a great episode. I'm not sure where they'll go next week, but I'm excited for Wrestlemania.